A Dissidia Fairy Tale
by Fangs of Lightning
Summary: The gods left the warriors in the realm that had housed their war for ages. Without the gods to lead them in battle, the warriors must find their own paths. A possible way to return home is found, and they begin yet another quest. This time, they must accept the warriors of discord, as well as solve any other problems that come up. Multiple pairings. Female Tidus, for a while.
1. Chapter 1

Act One: Beginning

Cosmos and Chaos stood in the vast expanse of the empty land. A shimmering light had begun forming a temple as they stood there.

"My warriors, you have dome a fine job. You have fought many battles, died munerous times, and had your memory rewritten. But through these last few cycles, you have manged to keep your personalities. For that reson, I must leave you. Good luck, and farewell..." Cosmos addressed her warriors, tears glistening in her eyes.

Chaos gently laid a hand on her shoulder.

"They'll be fine, Cosmos," he said.

"But what if the maninkins are mean to them? Or they can't get along with the other warriors?" Cosmos asked.

"They're not little kids you're leaving at school, Cosmos. They can take care of themselves."

"I know." The Goddess of Harmony looked back toward her headquarters as the door materialized, finishing the temple. "I can't help but be worried about them."

"Come, Cosmos. It is time."

Chaos and Cosmos went and stood in the center of the large circular room. Beneath them, a circle appeared. In a flash, they were gone. In their place stood a stone with words carved into it. The warriors all feklt their gods leave them, and confusion befell all of them when nothing happened.

-A week later, Harmony HQ-

"A week since Cosmos left, and we're still here," Firion said. He didn't look up from his plate.

"At least we get to spend a bit more time together," Cecil responded.

The Warrior of Light chose that time to enter the room, with a medium-sized box in hand. He set it on the table, reached in, and pulled out the most disturbing thing Cecil had ever seen. As the Warrior of Light set the figurine on the table, he could feel the terror creeping into him. It only stood about two feet, yet there was no mistaking the sensation coursing through Cecil's body. The little humanoid figure had a blue jacket, red pants, and brown boots. A whit beard hid half of his face, and hung to his belt. On his head was a ponited, red cap. In his left hand was a lantern.

"This is Fudwick," the Warrior of Light stated.

_That's nice and all, but why te hell's he here? _Cecil thought.

"Oh, you got a gnome. Is he for the garden?" Firion sounded absolutely excited.

"Of course. Now, I need to find the proper place for him."

The Warrior of Light left the room. Firion and Cecil stared at the gnome.

"Wel, I guess there's a new member in our family," Firion said.

"I'm not sure I like him."

It was all Cecil could come up with. No way was he going to ever tell anyone about the terror he felt whenever he gazed upon a garden gnome. Firion laughed.

"Cecil, you just met him. At least he can't go around yelling. Or cut you off whenever you try to talk to him."

If Cecil didn't know any better, he'd say Firion's voice held an edge of irritation. But, that was for another time. There were more pressing matters at hand.

"He's got this look in his eye, Firion. He's not to be trusted."

Firion laughed at him once again.

"Even if that's so, the Warrior of Light isn't going to get rid of him. Once her makes a decision, nothing will get him to change his mind. Fudwick is here to stay."

Firion stabbed another piece of his pancake, and lifted it to his mouth.

"But Firion-"

"Cecil, we can't get rid of him." Firion pointed the fork at him as he spoke. Cecil leaned forward, taking the pancake off the fork as Firion continued speaking. "Do you want the Warrior of Light angry at you?"

"Well, no..."

"Then there's nothing to discuss. And don't eat my pancake."

Firion got back to his food as Tidus ran in. The blond ran over to the fridge, yanking the door open and grabbing some of its contents. He returned to the table, frowning when he saw Fudwick.

"Who's the gnome?" he asked.

"Fudwick. He's going to be in the garden."

"Ah. Anyway, careful if you guys go swimming. There's some really freaky things in the water."

Tidus began preparing himself a sandwich as he continued talking.

"Anyone else notice that in this short week the gods have been gone, weird stuff has been going on? I mean, first the moogles opened a mall. And they've got everything there! The Chaos guys have been leaving us alone as well. It's fine, I guess... just a little strange. Now our leader's buying garden gnomes!" Tidus began eating his sandwich.

"What concerns me more is the fact that we haven't been sent home yet," Firion said. He got up and began putting away the things Tidus had used.

"Perhaps there's something we still must do here."

"Cecil's right." The Warrior of Light's voice came from the doorway, startling the two. "There's probably a reason we're still here. We just haven't found it yet. Once we do, we can all go home."

The Warrior of Light went over, grabbed Fudwick from the table, and walked off with his gnome. The three in the room loked at each other, shrugged, and continued what they were doing.

-Same time, Chaos HQ-

The living room was empty, save for a few warriors. Sephiroth, Gabranth, and Ultimecia were on the couch, flipping through the channels. Emperor Mateus was sitting in a chair at the window, reading a book. Kuja came in, holding a paper and pencil.

"Does anyone need anything at the store?" he sighed.

"My makeup's running low," Emperor Mateus answered.

"Strawberrry Champagne scented shampoo," Sephiroth said.

"Nothing." The other two on the couch spoke up at once. Kuja added the items to his list and floated out of the room.

There was silence, then. Filled only with the sounds the people on-screen got out before the channel was changed again. Then, Emperor Mateus spoke up.

"Not now, Johnny. I'm reading." He turned the page and sighed. "I said not now."

"Mateus, are you feeling all right?" Ultimecia asked.

"I'm fine. It's Johnny who doesn't feel all right."

Ultimecia looked back at the television, not about to argue with him.

"Dammit, Johnny. Fine!"

Emperor Mateus stood after marking the page in his book. They could hear him mumbling to whoever Johnny was as he went down the hallway.

"He's been talking to this Johnny character an awful lot lately," Sephiroth remarked once he was certain the Emperor was out of hearing range. "Do you think he may be losing his mind?"

"I certainly hope not. What good is he to anyone if he's crazy?"

"Not at all." There was once more silence for a few minutes. "You tink we should go bother the warriors of harmoony again?"

"Nah. It'd be too boring now. And there's really no point to it, anyway."

"Or, we could attempt to get along with them. If we're going to be stuck here, with them, we might as well." Gabranth had finally spoken up.

"You're right, I suppose. How hard could it be?" Sephiroth spoke to no one in particular. "Golbez and Gilgamesh do it all the time."

Just then, the catchy and familiar theme for NCIS came on. Sephiroth immidiately turned his attention to the television.

"This one's good," Ultimecia remarked. "Have you seen it yet, Gabranth?"

"I can't say that I have..." was his only response before getting caught up in the show, despite it just starting.

"Then, this is what we shall watch."

-The next day, Harmony HQ-

"This is so boring! Is there really nothing on in the morning?!" Cecil yelled, throwing the remote down onto the couch.

"Cecil, calm down," Kain said. "You rented that movie last night. Why don't you watch that?"

"I already have. It wasn't half as good as the commercials made it seem."

"...I see. Well then, perhaps there's something else you could do?"

Cecil was about to reply when the Onion Knight came in. He finished stretching and stared at Cecil.

"How was your movie?"

"Horrible. A complete waste of gil." Cecil sat on the couch with a loud 'plop' and ceased to move.

"At least you didn't buy it." The Onion Knight smirked at Cecil's misfortune.

"... and that's when he swooped in and saved her from the vicious zombie plant." Tidus's voice came from the hall seconds before he did. Vaan followed close behind.

"Tidus, where did you find that book?" Vaan asked.

"In the library. Where else? Oh, morning, guys!"

"Good morning." Vaan turned his attention back to Tidus as they went into the kitchen. "Seriously, though. You choose the wierdest things you can find, don't you?"

"Not all the time." Tidus laughed and opened the freezer. "What the hell? No Eggos?"

"You ate them all, remember?" Cecil called from his spot on the couch.

"If Rosebud asks, I'm at the store, all right?"

"Don't stay too long. You know how he tends to get."

Tidus smiled then, before running out to the store.

Once he was there, he went straight to the frozen food section. A few minutes of looking, and he found what he wa looking for. There were plain, strawberry, chocolate chip, and blueberry. Seeing no real reason why he couldn't get all of them, he went ahead and got four boxes of each. He went to the counter, careful not to drop his food, and set them down in front of the moogle working there. The moogle ran them through.

"That'll be 160 gil, kupo."

Sighing, Tidus pulled the gil out of his pocket and put it down in front of the moogle.

"I was also told to get this to you, kupo."

The moogle held out a small vial, which Tidus took. He looked at the moogle, about to ask what it was, when the moogle spoke again.

"It came in a box, kupo. There was a note with it. It said it was for you, kupo."

"Thanks, I guess. So what is it? Some kind of bath supply?" Tidus examined the vial as he said this. He concluded that it was full of some kind of light red liquid- he refused to say it was pink.

"That's what the note said, kupo."

"All right. So how much for the-"

"It's a gift, kupo."

Tidus smiled and thanked the moogle again. He slipped the vial into his pocket so that he wouldn't lose it, picked up his bag, and left the store.

Once he got back to headquarters, he had a few hours before they all set off to look for a way to try and go home. The others had gotten back before him, and didn't seem too happy with his delay. The pained grimace on his face immediately set Firion into worried mode. He ran over, held him by the shoulders and looked into his eyes.

"Tidus, what happened? Where are you hurt?"

"I'm fine, Firion. Nothing I haven't felt before." Tidus smiled before frowning again. "I'm all sweaty, and need to take a bath."

"You didn't answer my question. You're not going until you've answered it."

Tidus sighed. He really hated it when Firion was persistent like this.

"Ran into a manikin of my dad. We got into a fight, and now my ass hurts. Good enough explanation for you?" Tidus walked past Firion's slightly shocked form and headed for the stairs.

"Um... Tidus?" Tidus turned back to look at Firion, who had looked back at him. "Why does your-"

"Let's just say that I didn't know that was possible. Not sure I wanted to find out, either."

Not willing to give any farther explanation, Tidus went up the stairs. There was a brief silence, then Cecil broke it.

"I knew he was Angela," he simply stated.

"Hm? No, he's still Tidus."

Cecil sighed. And Bartz's voice from right behind them startled the two.

"You realise that that's the twentieth thing Tidus has had sex with in the last two weeks?"

"What?" Firion was clearly shocked to hear this news- it was writtnen all over his face.

"He beat my record? That little slut!" Cecil yelled.

Firion and Bartz both stared at him.

"But, wait." Firion attempted to change the subject. "I thought manikins only existed for fighting. Why would one, especially one of his father,-"

"Tidus attracts strange things, Firion." Bartz interrupted. "There was also that mutant dog, and the octopus, and the giant bird, and the-"

"We don't need the entire list, Bartz. But are you sure it's twenty?" Firion was staring at Bartz in a way that made Bartz a bit nervous to answer.

He counted in his head before answering.

"Yeah. I'm sure."

Firion looked at Cecil, who still seemed quite angry.

"Cecil, what's got you so angry?"

When Cecil didn't say anything, Firion spoke agian.

"I know you like being the whore, Cecil, but -"

"I will not be upstaged by a whore with mutant lungs, Firion!"

"Mutant... lungs?" Firion could honestly say that he was confused.

"You ever notice how long that little bitch can stay underwater? Much longer than any normal person, I assure you."

Lightning came in then, gave the paladin a confused look, and went to the couch to catch up on her television-watching.

"Though, technically, Tidus still isn't as much of a whore as you are. I mean, it's not even people!" Bartz laughed at the end of his statement, stopping only when Firion glared at him. "Oh, come on. It's true. All of his lovers are monsters."

"That's still not something to be so amused about. This is a very sertious matter, Bartz, and-"

"Oh, come on. Lighten up. You know me. I laugh abiut almost everything."

"If you cut me off again, I will show you something you can't possibly laugh about."

The smile on Firion's face was one you'd expect to find on an angel. Bartz looked at Cecil in confusion. Cecil simply shrugged. A scratching noise came from the window, and Cecil turned to see what it was.

There, standing on the other side of the window, was Fudwick. That familiar wave of terror washed over him again, and he could barely talk when he turned slightly toward Firion.

"Firion. Do... Do garden gnomes usually move on their own?"

Firion lokoed at him before answering.

"No, not usually. Why?"

Not trusting his voice, Cecil ponted at the window. Firion turned to look, but Fudwick vanished into the fading sunset. Firion looked back at Cecil when he didn't see anything. Concern filled his eyes, and he gave the only advice he could think of.

"You should get some rest, Cecil."

Cecil sighed in defeat- he never could argue with Firion- and turned to go to bed. At the door to the room, he turned and bid the others goodnight. Firion and Bartz joined Lightning on the couch to watch a movie.


	2. Chapter 2

Act Two: Changes

Tidus sat on his bed the next morning, Vaan staring at him. Vaan had come to get him, and apparently decided that "Oh my god!" was a wonderful sentence to wake someone up with. Upon sitting up, revealing his new body, and just generally having the amount of shame you'd expect from a professional stripper, he explained to Vaan what had happened.

"So, basically, someone left something for you with a moogle, you accepted it, used it, and now you're a female?"

"Yeah." Tidus smiled at Vaan. "I don't know what to do, Vaan. I don't know the first thing about being a woman."

Vaan thought a few minutes before answering. Tidus got up and started dressing.

"First of all, you should lock those automatic doors of yours. I mean, people won't think very highly of you if you let in anything and anyone that shows interest."

"I don't-" Tidus was cut off as Vaan helped her get her shirt to actually stay on.

"You might also want to change your shirt," Vaan continued. "Though, quite a few people wouldn't mind if you wandered around like that. Myself included."

"What?!" Tidus's face flushed a deep red. Vaan once again chose to ignore her.

"As for that thing that happens to women every month, you should ask Yuna. At least it'll be a little less awkward."

"I can't ask Yuna for details," Tidus muttered to herself.

"Zidane would probably tell you to finally change your answer. I say keep playing hard to get. You obviously enjoy pretending to not like the monkey. Everyone finds the entire thing funny at least."

"Vaan, all I asked for was a little assistance on how to act. I didn't want you to analyze me!"

Vaan had the decency to look sheepish for a few moments before grinning.

"Sorry. I tend to ramble sometimes. Anyway, I say you shouold talk to Yuna." After a thoughtful pause he added, "And you should stop being such a slut."

"What about my shirt? Surely I shouldn't-"

"Don't even think of changing your shirt!" Upon realizing what he had just yelled out, Vaan laughed nervously. "Sorry. It's just, well... we could do having a girl around dressed like that. The chaos guys get all the fun." Vaan grinned at her again. "You're sexy as a man, too but... Those clothes are just perfect on you, Tidus."

"Ah... Thanks." Tidus had always been proud of her form, even before the fateful bath that made her a woman. "I guess I'll just go talk to Yuna, now. See you later, Vaan." Tidus left her room, Vaan following a few moments after.

Tidus went straight to Yuna's door, the pink one with a staff engraved on it, and knocked. She stood, nervously fidgeting, until Yuna's voice came from the other side of the door. Tidus opened the door and went in, shutting it behind her.

"Yuna..." Tidus began. Yuna turned, confused. She hadn't recognized the voice, but there wasn't any way she'd ever mistake that face.

"Tidus. What happened?" she asked.

"Well, I had some stuff, and used it in my bath- don't worry, I was supposed to- and this happened." Tidus gestured at herself. Yuna's eyes followed her hands.

"Well, you look great."

"Really?" Tidus asked, unsure.

"Really, really." Yuna smiled at her.

Tidus smiled, happy tears forming in her eyes.

"Oh, Yuna..." Tidus rushed forward, taking Yuna into her arms and holding her tightly. "So, you don't mind? If I'm a woman now?"

"Of course not. It really doesn't matter to me, Tidus. So long as you stay yourself. Now, what did you want?" Yuna pulled away from Tidus, smiling.

"I don't know the first thing about being a woman. Could you explain things? I mean, whatever's important?"

Yuna giggled.

"Didn't they teach you anything about women?"

"I didn't pay much attention." Tidus pouted, crossing her arms.

"Well, all right. What do you want to know first?" Yuna stared at Tidus, and was struck with a thought. "Could I teach you something special first?" Yuna leaned forward, until her lips were just an inch from Tidus's. Tidus opened his mouth to say something, but no words would come. Yuna pressed her lips against Tidus's, moving her hands to the shirt clinging to Tidus. Tidus gasped as Yuna's hands carressed her breasts, moving the shirt and overall straps. Both fell off Tidus's arms as Yuna gently pushed her back against the door...

-kitchen-

"I'm telling you, he was outside my window this morning." Cecil sat, staring out the window. Fudwick hadn't moved in the half-hour he'd been watching him.

"You sure you weren't just dreaming?" Laguna asked from his seat at the table.

"Laguna's right." The Onion Knight was silent a few moments, watching Cecil stare out the window. "I've got it. Maybe you have a phobia of gnomes."

Finally, Cecil turned away from the window.

"I do not have a gnome phobia!"

The Warrior of Light, who had just walked in, stared at Cecil with worry.

"Cecil's yelling an awful lot lately. Is he all right?" The warrior moved forward and pressed the back of his left hand against Cecil's forehead. "He doesn't seem to have a fever. Then again, not everyone gets grumpy when they're sick. Perhaps he just has a lot of built-up anger."

"Maybe you should take it out on some manikins, Cecil," the Onion Knight said. "They shouldn't be too hard to find."

"But I'm not... Very well. I shalll return before dinner." Cecil got up from his seat and left to follow his comrade's suggestion.

- harmony HQ, shortly after lunch-

Cecil had found a group of manikins. Upon his approach, they had all turned prepared for battle. For an instant he had wondered why Tidus got to have all the fun, then he was pulling out his sword. After a long, grueling battle, Cecil came face-to-face with a different kind of manikin. It was thinking that it was Bartz, and Cecil wasn't quite sure he wanted to fight the mimic right now. Not after those other manikins... The Bartz manikin looked at him, tilting it's head to the side. Cecil's eyes narrowed as he stared right back at the manikin. He tightened the grip he had on his weapon. Without a single potion, he knew he had only one choice. And who knew if it would even work? The manikin decided on it's first course of action, charging at Cecil with Zidane's dual knives in hand. Cecil dove to the side, moving to counter. Instead, he ended up being thrown back by the force of the manikin's next blow. If he didn't do something soon, he knew he was a goner. Cecil waited for the right moment, dodging constantly to stay out of the manikin's range. When it tried to use one of Cloud's moves, he knocked the greatsword to the side and countered, stabbing it with his spear. As soon as the manikin had been pierced, Cecil activated his Soul Eater move. His prayers had apparently been heard. Cecil could feeel the manikin's life energy seeping into him through the connection his spear had created. With each second, Cecil felt more energized. His wounds were healed, he felt better, but his spear wouldn't budge. As Cecil tried to rip the spear from the manikin, it started to change appearance. It's hair turned white, and it's skin looked more normal. The clothes were the last to materialize. The no-longer-quite-a-manikin of Bartz stared at him with blank eyes. Cecil stared back into it's eyes. His spear finally came out of the manikin's abdomen, though that was now the last of his worries. Without a second thought, Cecil grabbed ZombieBartz's arm and pulled him back to headquarters. He found the Warrior of Light first.

"Light!" Cecil hurried over, truly happy to see the other man. "I am unsure of what to do."

The Warrior of Light looked at Cecil's companion. After a few moments, he decided that it couldn't possibly be Bartz. He looked back at Cecil, who had been trying to say something to him.

"...and this happened. I don't know what to do with him." Cecil looked back at ZombieBartz. "I couldn't just kill him. He may have used to be a manikin, but he isn't now. Not really, anyway."

The Warrior of Light merely stared at Cecil, who seemed to understand what he wanted.

"All right. I won't tell anyone else about him. Just... don't kill him. He is sort of alive now." Cecil ran off and the Warrior of Light looked at ZombieBartz once again.

"I don't know how this happened, but I now just what to do with you," the warrior finally said.

ZombieBartz stared at him with his typical blank look. The Warrior of Light gently took his arm in his hand and led him around to the back of the castle. there, he opened the outside door to the basement. A little pull had ZombieBartz following him down the short staircase and into the small storage room. He led ZombieBartz to the back of the room, where he pulled open an old wooden door. Behind the door lay the biggest bedroom in the castle. A king-sized bed was pushed up against the wall, with a small table beside it. On the table sat a lamp. The walls were painted a light gray, and the fan in the middle of the ceiling had its light on. The Warrior of Light pulled ZombieBartz into the room. ZombieBartz looked around a little,then stood in place. The Warrior of Light let out a little sighbefore turning to leave.

"Just don't go anywhere," he said.

With those as his parting words, he left the room. He closed the door behind him, locking it to ensure that their new guest couldn't leave. The Warrior of Light went to his own room, hurrying over and moving a portion of his wall to the side. There, he found a monitor and started it up. Immediately, the screen was covered in panels showing the various rooms of the castle. Flipping a switch, and pressing some buttons, the Warrior of Light switched to only one panel. The basement's back room filled the screeen. The Warror of Light sat back to learn all he could about their guest.

-Discord HQ, the next day-

A small group of Discord's warriors were once again in the living room, still with nothing better to fill their lives with. Kafka's laughter filled the room, though nobody had the slightest clue as to what had set the clown off. He paused in his laughter, looked at Jecht, and said;

"Little Tidus is a girl now!" He then burst into another bout of uncontrollable laughter.

"What? I can't deal with a daughter!" Jecht was stunned. He knew Tidus was a little strange, but... well, he hadn't expected something like this.

"You couldn't deal with a son, either." Kuja sighed. He had been flipping through the channels for half an hour, and had yet to find a single thing that caught his interest.

"What was that s'pposed to mean?" Jecht turned to Kuja, glare set on his face.

"Only that it's any wonder you even considered having a child at all," Kuja remarked with a wave of his hand.

Before Jecht could come up with a response other than staring, his mind transferred back to the more important matter at hand.

Sephiroth came in, reading a book he had found yesterday. His eyes were glued the pages of the book. Kuja stared at him a few moments, looking utterly bored.

"He really likes that book." He turned to Kefka. "Do you know if it's any good?"

"Not at all. I do know that it's callled LOVELESS, and seems to remind him of something." Kefka had a thoughtful look on his face as he responded. Then, his face broke into that grin again. "Maybe poor Sephy once had a friend, and it reminds him of them!" He began laughing again. Surprisingly, it failed to snap the other two in the room out of their concentration.

"'Sephy'?" Kuja inquired.

"It's easier to say," Kefka said amisdt chuckles.

"My crybaby, a girl now." Jecht shoook his head.

"Why is this so familiar?" Sphiroth asked himself. He was confused. Something about the book woke some forgotten memories within him, though he had yet to make sense of any of them.

Kefka snatched Kuja up off the couch suddenly, smiling at him.

"Come on, Kujie! Let's go do something fun!" Without allowing the mage a second to protest, he carried Kuja off.

"Hmph. Little brat better not make me a grandfather," Jecht said.

"Three friends, a gift of the goddess, Genesis... Why can't I remember?" Sephiroth's voice was raised just slightly.

Jecht looked at the tall ex-general.

"Hey, Sephiroth! Snap out of it." Jecht gently slapped Sephiroth when speaking got no response.

"What?" he asked.

"Come on. Let's go find lunch."

"What?" Sephroth repeated his question. He didn't fully understand.

"Lunch. Come on. I know you haven't eaten either." Jecht started leaving the room, pausing in the doorway. "You're thinkin' too hard. Give your brain a rest."

Sephiroth sighed and followed Jecht. He had to admit, the other man had a point.

-Somewhere between Harmony and Discord HQ-

The Cloud of Darkness and Exdeath were standing in a barren field, finishing the last of their plans. A tower had been contructed in the field. It was perfectly suited for their plans. Now, all they needed was the boy.

"Shall you get him, or shall I?" the Cloud of Darkness asked.

"I will get him. Be sure everything is ready."

"Don't forget the note. It's the most important part of the plan."

Exdeath nodded and vanished. He reappeared in Harmony headquarters, directly behind the Onion Knight. He grabbed him and vanished before the boy could say a single word. The note the Cloud of Darkness had mentioned appeared on the Onion Knight's door.


	3. Chapter 3

Forgot this last two chapters. All I own from this story is Johnny.

Act Three: Adventure's Start

-Harmony HQ, living room.

"I went to see him, and found this note on his door," Terra told Cloud.

Cloud took the note from Terra's outstretched hand and read it. It read;

"We have taken the Onion Knight. If you do not wish for him to be given to the Void, Terra must come and rescue him. Alone. As we don't wish to give him to the Void either, we strongly suggest she does this. -Cloud of Darkness and Exdeath."

"Well, looks like you've got to go." Cloud looked up at her. Terra looked nervous.

"But-"

"You can do it. Believe in yourself, Terra. He's been the knight long enough. Now it's your turn. "

Terra smiled, still a little nervous.

"You're right." After a few moments of pondering, she looked at him again. "The moogles sell potions and ethers?"

"Haven't looked." Cloud shrugged. Terra thanked him anyway, running off to check.

-By the pool-

Tidus was sitting on the edge of the pool, Zidane standing next to her.

"My answer's the same, Zidane."

"But-"

"I don't care if my gender's different. That doesn't mean I'm going to change my answer." After a few seconds of silence she added, "In fact, that's probably a better reason to tell you no."

"Zidane, I suggest you leave Tidus alone," Firion was saying, walking over. "If she says no, she means no. You of all people should know that women don't like it when you're pushy."

Tidus dove into the pool, glad Firion came and got Zidane's attention.

"What's it matter to you, Firion?" Zidane asked Firion.

"Tidus is my friend, Zidane. Now stop bothering her."

"I just want a date." Zidane pouted.

"I think we all know exactly what you want."

Zidane grinned, looking up at Firion.

"You can't honestly say that you've never once thought about it."

"Sure I can." Firion was quiet, as though he was considering what he had just said. "I'm serious, Zidane. Leave Tidus alone.

"I'll leave her alone once she changes her answer."

Firion sighed, shaking his head at Zidane's logic.

"Very well then. But if you hurt Tidus in any way, you're a dead monkey. Understand?" Firion practically growled his threat, staring right into Zidane's eyes.

Zidane suddenly felt a lot shorter with Firion glaring down at him like that. He swallowed nervously and nodded.

"Perfectly."

Firion smiled. "Good. Now, it's almost time for lunch."

Firion went back inside to the kitchen just as Vaan was running out of the building. He didn't stop running until he got over to the pool, where he skid to a stop just before falling into the pool.

"Mind if I join you?" Vaan asked. Tidus looked up at him from in the pool and smiled.

"Not at all!" Tidus laughed. Clearly, she was having fun.

Vaan pulled off his boots and vest, then dove into the pool. He nearly landed on Tidus, who laughed again. Zidane glared, jealousy radiating off him, as the two of them started splashing each other. Tidus seemed to be having fun... too much fun in Zidane's opinion. As he was glaring, he failed to notice Bartz run up next to him and try to get his attention. After about a minute of saying Zidane's name, Bartz finally slapped him. Hard. Bartz smiled at Zidane as his friend glared up at him.

"What was that for?"

Bartz just smiled at Zidane. Grabbing his arm, he started running off. Zidane was pulled behind him, not getting a response as to where they were going.

-kitchen, meanwhile-

"Terra went off to save the Onion Knight," Cloud said as he handed Firion the note.

Firion read the note and looked at Cloud.

"I hope she'll be all right."

"She'll be fine. They're probably just bored."

Cloud sat at the table, leaning back in his chair. Firion laughed.

"You're probably right." Firion checked the oven again to make sure he wasn't burning anything. "Though, I can't understand why they'd give up on their plans as suddenly as they did."

"The others have realized that there is no point to it." Gobez startled both Cloud and Firion, who turned to stare at him.

"Even the Emperor? I thought he wanted to rule over everything."

"He seems to be preoccupied." At Firion and Cloud's questioning look, he elaborated. "He seems to be having quite the large arguement with Johnny. I'm not sure what exactly it's about, since we only get one side of the conversation."

This explanation only served to further confuse the two warriors. Luckily, Golbez was saved from having to come up with a further explanation by Cecil's voice getting closer to the door. It swung open a few seconds later. Cecil stood in the doorway, glowering.

"No one believes me!" Cecil yelled at the assembled warriors. "That little monster was watching me!"

"Cecil, calm down." Firion started going toward Cecil, but stopped when Cecil ran to Golbez.

"Brother! You believe me, right?" Cecil looked up at Golbez with such adorable, begging eyes that Golbez couldn't bring himself to tell hm the truth.

"Of course, Cecil."

The doorbell rang just then. Firion twitched and ran to get it. When he opened the door, he was a bit surprised to see Jecht standing there.

"I take it you're here to see Tidus?" he asked. Without waiting for an answer, he led Jecht through the castle to the pool. "She's bound to come out eventually."

Firion went back inside, leaving Jecht standing there. Tidus finally surfaced again, grabbing onto Vaan as she did so. Vaan's face went all red and he turned to look away ffrom Tidus. Seeing Jecht, he was suddenly very nervous.

"Tidus... You're father's here," he said.

Tidus turned to look at Jecht and pouted.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"Can't come to see my kid?" Jecht had that same cocky smile on his face, staring at Tidus. "Heard you're a girl now..." Tidus got up out of the pool. Jecht looked her up and down and whistled.

"You never want to just 'come see you're kid'. If you're here, that means you have something you want to tell me." Tidus was scowling, looking up at her father.

"Lookin' good, kid." Jecht ignored Tidus, no surprise there. "You're gonna keep that form of your's, right?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't- Dad!"

"Just makin' sure."

"You seriously think I'd..." Tidus was at a loss for words. She knew her father had some issues, but seriously thinking she'd go and get herself pregnant?

"I'm not ready to be a grandfather, and I know you're not ready to be a mother." Jecht shook his head, obviously thinking of what would happen.

"You're so... so... I hate you!"

"Heh. Love you too, kid." Jecht grinned at Tidus, who was still glaring.

Tidus opened her mouth, paused, and decided to ask anyway.

"Is there any way you can tell your manikins to leave me alone? I mean, I don't really mind. It's just a little awkward."

"What's a little awkward?" Jecht didn't have the faintest idea what Tidus was talking about, and Tidus wasn't helping any.

"Well... this conversation for one..." Tidus could feel her cheeks heating up with a blush. She didn't understand why her father couldn't figure it out.

"He lets in just about anything that asks the right way." Vaan had gotten out of the pool and was standing next to Tidus.

Tidus turned toward him, frowning. "Not just anything."

Jecht looked between the two and laughed. "You just be careful. Fights have been started over who a woman belongs to since the beginnnin' of time. Don't need you caught in the middle of one!" He laughed again and Tidus turned to get back in the water. "Welll, guess I'll be goin' now. You take care of yourself."

Jecht left and Tidus glared at Vaan.

"My father doesn't need to know how my sex life's doing!"

"Yeah, sorry about that." Vaan crouched next to the pool, looking down at Tidus. "You think he'd be a little more worried about you."

"Ha! If he was worried about me, I'd have to be a little frightened." Tidus grabbed Vaan and pulled him into the water again.

-Harmony HQ-

Garland was standing in the hall in front of the Warrior of Light's room. He stared at the door. When he finally knocked, he heard an irritated sigh from the other side of the door. The door flew open and the warrior stood, frowning up at him as usual.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I have come in the hopes that you will go out with me to see something." Garland found that it was actually difficult to talk to his chosen rival about something that didn't involve fighting. The Warrior raised an eyebrow.

"What is it?" He looked back toward the monitor, relieved to see that ZombieBartz was still there.

"A temple. I'm pretty certain it wasn't there yesterday."

"A temple? Perhaps the gods left it as a final way of helping us."

The Warrior of Light gently pushed Garland out of the doorway and walked through. He went to Lightning's door, Garland following close behind. Once arriving, he knocked. Lightning opened the door.

"Could you watch him?" It sounded as though he was talking about a baby, which is how the two of them had begun to think of ZombieBartz.

"Of course. You know I love using your security cameras," she said. She came out of her room started down the hall.

"Just watch him this time! Not everyone else!" The Warrior of Light yelled after her before turning back to Garland. "Let's go."

They left the building and started off to the north. Eventually, they found the temple Garland had spoken of. They went over, pulled the door open, and entered the temple. It was... plain. Boring gray walls, a gray floor, and a gray ceiling high above them. The only interesting thing about it was the circle on the floor. Garland, while walking around the room, ended up kicking something in the center of the floor. He looked down and saw a stone sticking up out of the floor. He called for the Warrior of Light, who came over to see what he had found. The two of them kneeled next to it to see if anything was on it.

"Dear warriors," it began. "In this temple is the power you need to go back to where you belong. However, you each must find a crystal to open your own path. Harmony and Discord must set aside their differences and combine the power of the crystals. After all, without one, there's no point to the other's existence. With love, Cosmos. ...And Chaos." The Chaos bit looked as though it had been hastilly added, though they assumed that's what you would expect from the god of discord.

"Of course, Cosmos." The Warrior of Light bowed to the stone as though it was Cosmos herself. "We shall do our best." The two of them stood there a while before the Warrior of Light spoke again. "We should tell our warriors the news."

"Of course. But after fighting for so long, will they be able to get along?" Garland asked. He didn't believe it was possible, honestly.

"That would depend on what's more important to them."

Garland thought for a few minutes, and realized the other warrior was right.

"You're right again."

"Of course," the Warrior of Light said as he walked off. "The woman's always right."

Garlad stared after him, unsure of how to respond to such a strange statement. Or if he should even respond in the first place. after the warrior had left his sight, he snapped out of whatever he had put himself in and left the temple.

-Harmony HQ-

Once all the warriors, except Terra and the Onion Knight, were assembled, the Warrior of Light stood in front of them. He looked around and noticed that two of their members were missing.

"Where are Terra and the Onion Knight?"

"The Onion Knight got kidnapped and Terra went off to rescue him," Firion said.

"Someone shall have to tell them when they return. As you all know, Cosmos has left us. With Garland's help, I have discovered a way for us to return to our homes. There is a temple that holds the power to send us back. It was left by the gods. Cosmos has left instructions to find crystals again. One for each of us. We must also work together with the warriors of discord." When the other warriors began protesting, he held up a hand. They all fell silent and waited for him to finish speaking. "I know it may be difficult, but try your best."

"We need to work together with them? What was Cosmos thinking?" Tifa asked.

"Probably that we'd be willing to do anything to return to our homes," Kain said.

"We aren't supposed to get along with them. They're the enemy. Gods always make ridiculous demands," Lightning input.

"What if we tried getting along with one we don't know that well? That way, we won't have to force ourselves to much." Laguna sounded unsure of himself. Cecil smile at him.

"That could work, Laguna. But what if Cosmos intends for us to get along with our real enemy?"

"She's the one who didn't specify."

"There's not exactly anything waiting for them. Why would they want to help us?" Zidane leaned forward as he spoke.

"Perhaps both sides would learn something from this," Yuna said. "If we were sent back far enough, they could have a chance. If they were more on our side, then they wouldn't-"

"Nothing's that simple, Yuna. Or are you really that naive?" Lightning was staring at Yuna. Yuna shifted uneasily in her seat. "Things just don't work that way. You need to ge out of whatever fantasy you've put yourself ni and face the facts."

"I..."

"Leave her alone!" Tidus yelled, getting in front of Yuna. "Take your attitude out on someone else! At least she's optimistic."

"They aren't going to change. It's just a fact."

"At least Yuna's willing to try."

"Tidus..." Yuna started.

"Stop arguing, all of you." Firion cut in. "We need to figure out what to do. If we can't agree amongst ourselves, how are we going to attempt what Cosmos has asked of us?"

The warriors managed to calm down, though Tidus was still staring at Lightning.

-Discord HQ-

Garland had done the same with his warriors, but was less concerned about missing members of the group.

"We need to work together with the warriors of harmony if we ever expect to get out of this place."

"And why would we want that?" Emperor Mateus asked.

"the gods are no longer here," Kuja said. "There's nothing to do, no reason to fight. Dying's got to be better than an eternity of nothing."

"Who says we're going to die?" Sephiroth asked.

"Well, what else would you expect to happen when we got back? After what we put everyone through, they're bound to want us dead."

There was a long silence as everyone contemplated what Kuja had just said.

"There's no point either way. It'll just be the same boring ending." Kefka broke the silencce.

"We aren't supposed to have ahppy endings," Gabranth stated. The way he put it made it sound like an unavoidable fact of life.

"The others are, then?" Mateus didn't sound all too pleased.

"No. They'll lose things that are irreplacable. They won't be much happier than us," Golbez said.

"What if they don't remember?" Sephiroth asked.

"They've lost things in their own worlds."

"Yes, but not what matters most to them," Kuja said. He was frowning.

"Some of them did." Garland reminded them.

"Maybe we'll somehow get a second chance?" Gabranth asked, despite his earlier claim. "To prove that we don't have to die?"

"Well, there's no savin' me if I go back. Doesn't matter how you look at the situation," Jecht said.

"Personally, I wouldn't mind changing one particular course of action," Sephiroth said. "But it's too far in the past. No use wishing for the impossible."

"The question now is, which path do we choose? If we assist them, most of us will die. If we don't, all of us will be stuck here forever," Garland said.


	4. Chapter 4

I've given up calling the Emperor by his title. So now, I'm just going to call him Mateus.

Act Four: Way to the crystals

While the others were talking about their plans, Terra had finally found the castle where the Onion Knight was. She moved cautiously up to the door, gently pushing it open. She entered the castle, wondering where they would have put the Onion Knight. Nothing attacked her, though she was honestly expecting a manikin or two. As she made her way up the stairs, she could hear talking. It sounded like the Onion Knight. Terra hurried up the stairs, and found herself stopped by Exdeath. He was standing there, blocking the entire staircase.

"If you wish to pass, you must prove your worth," he said.

Terra stared at him, confused.

"How is a raven like a writing desk?" Exdeath asked.

Terra thought it over a few minutes before finally answering.

"No one knows. Alice never found out." Terra looked up at Exdeath. He moved out of the way, allowing her to go up the stairs.

Terra went up the stairs and found herself in a room. The Onion Knight was there with the Cloud of Darkness, and Exdeath who rejoined them. Happy to see him unharmed, she ran over and threw her arms around him. The Onion Knight was equally as happy to see her, hugging her back.

"We weren't sure you would actually come," the Cloud of Darkness said.

"Well, you did say you would give him to the Void if I didn't. I couldn't just leave him. After everything he's done for me, I just thought that-" Terra was cut off when a crystal appeared in front of her. She moved back, releasing the Onion Knight from her grip. The crystal floated closer to her, and she put her hand out to accept it. The two of them had spent a while with the Cloud of Darkness and Exdeath before deciding they were going to return to headquarters.

-Harmony HQ, the next day-

Terra and the Onion Knight came in shortly after lunch. Terra was carrying her crystal.

"What are we getting crystals for this time?" she asked.

"They're supposed to bring us home," Tidus explained.

"Ah. So, you did find a way."

"Of course, we still have no idea of where to even begin looking. You'd think Cosmos would be nice enough to give us a hint." Tidus turned away, returning to the living room. Terra and the Onion Knight followed her. Tidus sat on the couch, putting her foot on the table in front of it.

"Maybe getting these crystals is the same as getting the others."

"A pain in the ass?" Squall asked.

Tidus laughed. "Squall's probably right." Noticing Cecil, she turned. "You're still looking out the window? It's a garden. Nothing's going to change any time soon."

"It's not the garden I'm watching," Cecil said.

Tidus and Squall looked at each other and decided not to ask. Firion came in, holding a bowl in one arm and stirring his cake batter with the other hand.

"Tidus, could you go into the basement for me?" he asked. "I need the cake pans."

"But we have cake pans," Tidus protested. She really didn't want to get up.

"I want the ones that are actually interesting. Now get off your butt and get them for me."

Unable to argue with that, Tidus got up and went to the basement. When he got there, she immediately noticed that she wasn't alone. Another young man was standing in the far corner of the room, staring at her. At first, Tidus thought he was Bartz, until she took a step closer to him. 'Bartz' had wisps of purplish-black smoke coming off him. Tidus didn't know what it was, but she was certain Bartz didn't have it. Tidus looked up at his head, which had white hair on it. She was also certain Bartz didn't have white hair. She laughed nervously as ZombieBartz continued staring at her.

"Uh... Hey. I'm Tidus. Sorry, I'm in a hurry. I can't talk now." Tidus hurried over to the cupboard and yanked the doors open.

As ZombieBartz watched her, feelings he hadn't known he could have burst within him. This woman had actually spoken to him. Everyone else who came down there took one look at him, and went on their way. But her... Zombie Bartz slowly raised a hand to his chest, to where his heart was. Presumably, it couldn't feel anything, but then what was that warmth he felt?

Tidus grabbed the cake pans, muttering about Firion's needs, and shut the cupboard door. With one last smile at ZombieBartz- which set off that feeling again- she crossed the room to the stairs. She put her foot on the first step, went to bring her other foot up, and felt a pull on her arm. She turned and saw that ZombieBartz had grabbed her hand. He was looking at her, blank look still in his eyes. Tidus could tell that he wanted her to stay. Why else would he grab her hand?

"I'm sorry. I really need to get these to Firion." She held up the cake pans as she said this.

The door at the top of the stairs opened then, and the Warrior of Light hurried down them. He was muttering under his breath as he gently took ZombieBartz's hands off Tidus's. He gently led ZombieBartz to his room, and shut the door. He looked at Tidus, who felt that she should say something.

"Why's he a secret? He doesn't seem that dangerous."

The Warrior of Light just stared at him.

"Okay, okay. I don't get it, but I won't tell anyone about him. Promise."

Tidus went up the stairs and gave the pans to Firion.

"Than you, Tidus."

Firion readied the cake pan he wanted and dumped the batter into it. As he did so, Tidus went and sat at the table.

"I should talk to Shantotto. If anyone could find a way to change me back, she could."

"I think she's locked herself away in her lab." He turned to Tidus in time to see the familiar look in her eyes. "Tidus, do not interrupt her."

"Damn. I'm gonna be a woman for the rest of my life, aren't I?" Tidus fell face-first onto the table. "I know I'm gay, but that doesn't mean I want to be a woman!"

Firion smiled at Tidus and shook his head.

"There are other mages. One of them might be able to help you."

Tidus sat right up and smiled at him.

"You're right. Thanks, Rosebud."

Tidus got up and left the room to follow Firion's advice.

-Discord HQ-

Mateus was sitting on his bed, reading a horribly written book. He could barely pay attention to the words on the page, and gave up. He sighed as he marked the page and set the book down.

"So. Crystals. It was never our job to get them, so how would I go about finding one?"

"Perhaps you should ask harmony's warriors," Johnny said. He was standing a few feet away, smiling at the Emperor.

"All I know is that you have to do something to acquire them. I've no ideas what I would have to do." He was silent a few minutes. "Well, let's go." He stood and went to the door, turning when he didn't hear footsteps behind him. "Coming?"

"Oh. Of course." Johnny stood and followed Mateus.

-Outside Harmony HQ-

Vaan and Yuna were returning from a short walk. They hadn't been able to find anything really, much less either crystal.

"Why can't we find them?" Vaan asked.

"The Warrior of Light said he thinks we need to overcome something."

Yuna thought over when she had asked the Warrior of Light for his opinion. He had certainly been nicer than Lightning could ever hope to be. Though he had said it in a bothered way, as though he really hadn't been wanting to talk to her.

"Like, a dragon?" Vaan asked. Yuna giggled.

"No, Vaan. More like a fear or way of thinking. Something like that."

"Oh. I guess it's harder than you'd expect, then. I thought you just had to go out and find it." After a minute of thinking he added, "Too bad gods never feel the need to help people out and make things easy on them, huh?"

Mateus, who had been coming over with the intent of talking to the first of harmony's warriors he saw, came to an abrupt stop when he saw Vaan. His heartbeat sped up, and he felt more nervous than he had in years. His resolve was destroyed then. He turned and walked off. The two warriors he had walked away from watched him with curious looks.

"Come on. I'll find it on my own," Mateus muttered to Johnny.

Johnny looked between Mateus and Vaan. Vaan still looked confused, and Mateus was walking away as quickly as possible while still maintaining his usual proud aura. Johnny frowned as the pieces started to fall into place, a low growl rising in his throat. Mateus leaned against a tree, waiting for his heartbeat to return to normal. Johnny followed with a sigh to calm himself. He gently lay a hand on Mateus's cheek.

"Is something the matter, Majesty?" he asked.

"No. I'm fine," Mateus said. He put a hand over his heart, confused.

_What is wrong with me? _he thought.

"Majesty. There's no need to be nervous. They're commoners- they ought to be honored that you deem them worthy of your time."

Mateus met Johnny's eyes. Johnny had a look of understanding. The one he had given him so many times that Mateus was sure he could trust him. He had never led him astray before, after all.

"You're right. There's no need for me to be nervous." Mateus, once again confident in himself, returned to where Vaan was now standing alone. "I would like a word with you."

Vaan looked at him. Surprise crossed his face, but was quickly replaced with a small grin.

"Oh, Your Majesty." Vaan's tone was dripping with sarcasm. "What ever could a simple commoner do for you?"

Mateus chose to ignore the impudent brat's tone and continued as though it hadn't happened.

"My crystal. I've no idea of how to find it."

"All I know is what the others told me, Your Majesty," Vaan said, again with that tone. "They said you've got to overcome something about yourself."

"Of course." Mateus was silent. "Without the gods here to guide us, this will be difficult."

"Not for everyone. Bartz already found his."

"Jecht has as well. Though, I wouldn't say he overcame anything to get it."

"I thought you guys were the ones telling everyone how to get their crystals. Shouldn't you have known that on your own?"

"Chaos never really helped us out before. As a result, we are unsure of what to expect."

They just stood there for a while. The nervousness began creeping up on Mateus again.

"I suppose I'll go around and look." Mateus turned and left.

Vaan stared after him, more confused than ever.

"What was that all about?"

There was a rustling n the bushes behind him. Vaan turned to look at the bush, and the rustling stopped. He continued staring, but the rustling didn't start up again. He shrugged and walked off.

-?-

Sephiroth and squall had been wandering, both looking for their crystals on their own. When the two had met up at the castle they were currently in, they had originally decided to ignore the other's presence completely. The monsters soon eradicated that plan. The two had been more or less helping each other. When something particularly strong came along, they worked together to take it down. The longer they worked together, the easier it was for them to have a conversation.

"Barely anyone has found their crystal. How do you suppose we go about looking for them?" Sephiroth asked.

Squall shrugged.

"Who knows. Gods enjoy messing with people. It could be hard, or it could be easy. I mean all Bartz had to do was climb something." He killed the next monster that ran at them and added, "Of course, heights and Bartz don't exactly get along."

Sephiroth killed the next monster, since Squall had killed the last one. They came to stand before an old wooden door at the bottom of a staircase. Gemstones had been set into it in circular pattern. it spiraled outward from the center until it hit the sides. they looked at each other and tried to push the door open. It swung forward and sent a waterfall of dust down on them. Clearly nobody had opened the door in a long time. After a minor coughing fit, the two entered the room. A small window let in just enough light for them to be able to see. Near the back of the room was what looked like two crystals.

"Well, they certainly look like crystals," said Sephiroth.

"Could be a trap."

Sephiroth smiled and looked over at him.

"Set by who? We're supposed to be helping you."

"It can't possibly be that easy." Squall stared at the crystals. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, exactly. Bartz's hadn't been a trick, and it had been in plain sight. they took a step forward and the room shook.

"Okay, none of us could possibly weigh that much," Sephiroth stated.

Squall smirked- he had no idea the other man had a sense of humor.

"So, you do can be funny."

The room shook again. This time it sent more dust onto their heads. Cracks appeared in the stone ceiling. The two looked up, more worried about all that rock falling on top of them than whatever was causing the cracks. They moved back into the doorway.

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If given the opportunity, it could show itself," Sephiroth explained.

Squall nodded in agreement.

"And sometimes, people probably wouldn't understand it even if it did show itself."

The ceiling began caving in. They turned their faces away from the dust this time, to prevent another coughing fit. The center of the ceiling came crashing down. There, standing on the ruined slabs of stone, was a golem. It stood ten feet tall. Made entirely of stone, they knew it wouldn't be easy to take him down.

"Final test, huh?"

"Seems so."

Sephiroth held the Masmune point-down, in a defensive position. Squall held the Gunblade behind him, almost on his shoulders. The golem sized them up. When it raised its arm, they were ready. Squall moved to the side. Sephiroth blocked the hit with the Masamune. The blow moved him back a step. Sephiroth pushed against the arm with as much strength as he ould muster. The golem stumbled a bit, leaving it open for attack. Squall shot it with a burst of ice that had it reeling back. Sephiroth came in with a series of slashes as Squall switched to just shooting it. Soon, they had the golem on its knees in defeat. Never ones to show mercy, they finished him off. Stepping over the pile of rubble, they found the crystals floating toward them. Without hesitation, they accepted them. Their eyes met for the briefest of seconds before they turned and pointedly ignored one another again.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Troubles

-Harmony HQ, a week later-

Tidus came up from the basement and stretched. She had been talking to ZombieBartz and ended up dozing off sometime last evening. By the time she had left the room, her stomach was yelling at her, demanding food. Tidus put a hand over her abdomen, grimacing. Taking a turn, she decided that food would have to wait until she took care of her other problem.

"Afternoon, Tidus," Zidane said.

Tidus stopped and turned to stare at Zidane. He had developed this habit of showing up almost everywhere Tidus was... almost as though he was following her.

"Afternoon? I was down there that long?"

_I knew I was hungry but... Damn. _

"Must've gotten pretty comfortable down there." Zidane sounded suspiciouos of something.

"Huh, guess I did." another stab of pain had Tidus holding her abdomen. "Wish Yuna had told me how long this was."

"What?"

"Woman monthly pain." Tidus smiled at him. "Yuna said it's necessary, but... God, it hurts."

_Calm down, Zidane. She's cleary in pain. Now's not the time for these thoughts. But Tidus is just so... _Zidane tried to calm himself down, but to no avail. Tidus never failed to arouse him, whether she was a man or a woman.

"Zidane, you're making me nervous," Tidus said.

"Sorry." Zidane hadn't even realized he had been staring. At least, not in a way that would make Tidus nervous.

Vaan came down the hall then. Tidus inwardly groaned. She was never going to get to the bathroom. Not that she had to go, but... there were some things women did that just couldn't wait too long.

"You two know what His Royal Bastard's problem is?" Vaan asked.

"Who?"

"The Emperor. He's a complete ass." Vaan shrugged. "I should've known. He is royalty, after all. Last time I saw him, he was a little pleasant. Today though..." Vaan growled, a sound that shocked the two he was talking to.

"Maybe he's having a bad day," Tidus suggested.

"Well, he was pleasant to Firion!" Vaan yelled. He instantly regretted it. "Sorry, Tidus. I'm just so sick of royalty. They're always complete asses."

"It's just their nature, Vaan," Zidane said. "Wait, did you say he was actually getting along with Firion?"

"I wouldn't say that, exactly." Vaan shifted from foot to foot. "But he did talk to him without venom in his voice. But, enough about my problems. You two find your crystals yet?"

"Nope," Tidus said.

"Nah," Zidane said. "But I did help Bartz find his."

Tidus frowned at the mention of Bartz. Vaan and Zidane looked at him, worried.

"What's wrong?" Vaan asked.

"You know how even if you don't get along with your parent, you'd still like them to think of your opinion?" Tidus asked.

"I guess," Vaan said. He didn't remember his parents, so he couldn't be sure.

"Sure." Zidane didn't really know what Tidus was going on about.

"Well, how do I put this?" Tidus debated with herself for a few minutes before speaking again. "Bartz is my 'mom'! And neither of them even asked me. He doesn't ask my opinion on anything, but still. Bartz is my friend! He's not supposed to be my mother figure! And he's only three years older than me." Tidus instantly calmed down once she was done talking.

Vaan and Zidane exchanged a look.

"At least it's not Firion. You're closer to him than you are to Bartz," Vaan said.

"Well, you're right," Tidus said.

"That's where he's been going?" Zidane shouted. He'd been wondering for a while, but hadn't gotten around to asking. "And here I thought he just didn't want me around anymore."

"So Jecht is the one who's taken Bartz from me. I must form a plan to get him back," Gilgamesh said. He ran off. Zidane, Vaan, and Tidus stared after him.

"Well, I gotta go guys." Tidus hurried off.

-Cecil's room-

Cecil was sitting on his bed, Firion's head in his lap.

"The manikins, the monsters, Zidane's going to snap eventually... I don't know what to do, Cecil," Firion said.

"Why are you telling me about it?" Cecil said, smiling down at the one in his lap.

"Because I need a counselor. And you'll actually respond after listening to me."

"What exactly are you worried about, Firion?" Cecil ran his fingers through Firion's hair. Firion sighed contentedly.

"Tidus. It's bad enough when she's a man. But Tidus is a woman now. He could get pregnant." Firions eyes held all the concern Cecil had ever seen on him. "Tidus is only seventeen, Cecil."

"With a pretty good reputation too." Cecil chuckled.

"Cecil, put aside your jealousy for a few minutes. Tidus really could. Especially if Zidane has his way."

"Or if Tidus just decided to have sex with the same species."

"There is Yuna."

"But she won't get pregnant from that," Cecil said. Firion sighed.

"Should I just talk to her?"

"You seem to care more for Tidus than anyone else here. I'm sure she'll listen to you."

"Hm. I wonder." Firion turned toward Cecil, nuzzling his abdomen. Cecil laughed.

"Firion. That tickles," Cecil said.

His laughter subsided as Firion's hands came up to join his hands. Tanned hands pushed him down against the mattress. A gasp came from Cecil as Firion's face went lower.

-Living Room-

Jecht was sitting on the couch. bartz was leaning against him, drifting in and out of sleep.

"You know, I don't think Tidus is very happy about us," Bartz said.

"She ain't happy?" Jecht looked down at Bartz.

"Well, I think she's angry at you." Bartz sat up and looked at Jecht.

"Kid's always angry at me," Jecht said. Bartz stared at Jecht with a look that you'd rarely see on his face.

"Jecht, you can't just tell her I'm her 'mother' and just expect her to accept it. Maybe you should have actually spoken to her about us."

"Kid'll get used to it." Jecht started watching the movie again. Bartz stood and got in front of Jecht.

"Jecht, I don't want her angry at me." Bartz had his hands on his hips, and refused to move.

"She'll get used to it. Don't worry."

Bartz sighed in defeat and sat back down.

"I still think you should actually talk to her. Either that, or I should."

Jecht's only response was a grunt.

-Strange Temple-

The Warrior of Light and Garland were once again in the temple where they had found the stone from the gods.

"If we can manage to get along, perhaps our crystals will come to us," the Warrior of Light said.

"Perhaps. But can we get along?" Garland said.

"Of course we can." The Warrior of Light looked fully convinced. Garlnd could feel his confic=dence rubbing off on himself. ""The others seem to be doing it just fine. My warriors seem to be more interested in causing trouble for each other now."

"I'm having the same problem. That, and some of the warriors have began acting strangely."

The Warrior of Light looked at Garland. Garland kept looking at the stone in the center of the floor.

"How so?"

"His Majesty keeps talking to someone who doesn't exist, for one thing. Honestly, I'm a bit worried about him. Sephiroth keeps asking Kuja for poetry. That alone tells me there's something wrong with him. Everytime Gabranth sees a manikin of himself, he's overcome with the urge to ruthlessly slaughter hiim. Things like that."

"Does he perhaps believe he needs to die?"

Garland shook his head.

"I'm unsure," he said. "Even I've been affected by whatever's causing their problems."

"Meaning?"

"I feel a lack of motivation to fight you."

"As do I." The Warrior of Light thought a bit and came to a conclusion. "We should find out what's casing our warriors's strange actions."

They both left the temple and the Warrior of Light set off to find Prishe. He found her in the middle of nowhere.

"Prishe. Do you still go on your hour-long wanderings?"

"More like three hours, but yeah."

"Have you seen anything strange recently?"

Prishe tilted her head to the side in thought.

"Define strange."

"Something that could be affecting how everyone is acting."

"Can't say that I have..." A thought struck her then. "Sure it's not just everyone's true self showing through?" The Warrior of Light looked shocked. "Well, before, we could only really think about fighting and winning the war. Now that that's not an issue anymore, everyone could be letting their true self show through."

"I never thought of it that way."

Prishe giggled at the warrior's expression. He was staring straight ahead, alomst ashamed of himself.

"Of course not. Everyone's so different, it's no wonder you thought there was something wrong with them." Prishe smiled at the Warrior of Light. There was a strange glint in her eyes. "But between you and me, I wouldn't mind if Tidus stayed like that."

"That's completely different." A beeping came from his pocket. The Warrior of Light reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone. He put a finger up toward Prishe and turned away from her. He answered his phone, and automatically heard Lightning's voice. "He what!? Thank you, Lightning." The Warrior of Light hung up his phone and slipped it back into his pocket. "There's an emergency. I need to go."

The Warrior of Light hurried back to headquarters. Once there, he found Lightning and Bartz already searching for their wandering zombie.

"How'd he get out?" he asked once he was in hearing range.

"I didn't think anything was going to happen," Lightning said with a shrug. "From the video, I'd say he figured out how to pick the lock."

"Any idea where he went?"

"Not one." Lightning shook her head. "Oh. He seems to enjoy Tidus's company immensly."Maybe he's gone to look for her."

"You know, it's kind of strange how we can call Tidus a she so easily," Bartz spoke up.

"Shouldn't you be at least a little worried? Some mindless version of you is wandering around, possibly causing trouble," Lightning said.

"It's not like he can do any harm," Bartz said. He shrugged.

"He's smarter than he seems. Be careful. When he's found, return him to his room," the Warrior of Light said.

They went their separate ways. Bartz ran into Zidane in the kitchen.

"You see a copy of me? White hair? Kind of lost look on his face?"

Zidane swallowed the rest of his banana before speaking.

"Yeah. He went that way." Zidane pointed left tothe doorway. "Why're you looking for him?"

"Leaders don't want him running around. They think he'll cause trouble," Bartz explained.

Zidane jumped up from his seat.

"I'll help look for him! Shouldn't be too hard."

The two of them went in the direction Zidane had pointed. At the corner of the hall, they found him. amazed at how long it didn't take, they attempted to sneak up on him. ZombieBartz turned slightly. Zidane and Bartz both stopped moving, as though they both thought he wouldn't see them. ZombieBartz ran off, and the two gave chase. they chased him down a set of hallways, stopping when they rounded the second corner. ZombieBartz had ran into Tidus.

"Whoa!" she shouted. She nearly fell over as ZombieBartz swung around behind her. "Hey- What's going on?"

"Warrior of Light doesn't want him wandering around," Bartz exlpained.

He and Zidane approached, watching ZombieBartz. ZombieBartz made a low growling sound and held onto Tidus. Bartz sighed.

"Could you watch him? I'm sure he wouldn't mind if someone was with him," he said.

"Sure." Tidus smiled. "I kinda like his company anyway."

Zidane twitched and stared at ZombieBartz.

_Likes his company? He's just a mindless, no-good, uninteresting copy of Bartz! _Zidane thought. Sh_e can't like his company without liking Bartz's. Which she doesn't. At least, not enough for that! Dammit. I can't lose to someone who shouldn't even be alive! That's just..._

Zidane was lost in thought, oblivious to the way his friends were watching his tail swish from side to side. It was one of the two things betraying his anger. The other was the stare he was giving ZombieBartz. It was a hard stare, the kind you give the person who ruined your life and didn't show a hint of remorse. In Zidane's mind, ZombieBartz had ruined his chances with Tidus. He continued staring like that, trying to come up with one ting about ZombieBartz that Tidus could possibly like more than what he had to offer. When the Warrior of Light came over, he was confused but didn't dare question what was going on. So he ignored it instead.

"There you are," he said. "You've been told not to wander around."

ZombieBartz tightened his grip on Tidus. Zidane's tail stuck straight up against his back as he realized something.

"Okay, okay," Tidus said laughing. "I'll go with you." She looked at the Warrior of Light. "That's okay, right?"

The Warrior of Light nodded. Tidus turned and took ZombieBartz's hand. They ran offand the Warrior of Light called Lightning to explain the situation.

"Damnit! Why can't Tidus act more like that around me?" Zidane asked. He started pouting.

Bartz felt that he had to say something to snap Zidane out of whatever strange new mode he was putting himself into.

"Uh..." he started. "How about we go find some treasure? Or look for your crystal together?"

"I thought we'd already looked everywhere," he said as he looked up at Bartz. "'Course, we never did go to that dark, foreboding place..."

"Yeah. But we'd need to bring Cecil if we went there. He'd brighten the place up! Sort of."

"Hm. He does have a certain radiance to him, doesn't he?"

"You will not use Cecil as some sort of flashlight!" the Warrior of Light yelled.

Bartz and Zidane exchanged a look. He never raised his voice, which meant-

"Bartz! I found you!" Gilgamesh said as he came over.

He stopped a few feet away from them and pulled a paper out of his pocket. Bartz watched him curiously, a little worried about what would happen.

"I was wandering the in and out of the Rift when I found this peculiar piece of parchment." He unfolded it and held it up for Bartz to see. "When I realized it was a map, I decided that I had to find you."

Bartz goes over, tried to take the map from Gilgamesh. Gilgamesh moves it away from his hand.

"I knew you wouldn't be able to resist the idea of an adventure. So I came up with a compromise." Bartz stood back and stared at him. He took that as a sign to continue. "If you would let me go with you, I would be glad to give you the map."

"Deal. But Zidane has to come too. He really needs to get his mind off of Tidus," Bartz said.

"Off Tidus? In that outfit, it's impossible for any self-respecting ladies' man to stop thinking about her." Gilgamesh sounded almost thoughtful.

"Someone agrees with me!" Zidane yelled.

"So does ZombieBartz," the Warrior of Light said.

Zidane started pouting again.

"Thinking about Tidus so much isn't good for him." Bartz said. "It distracts him."

"I wouldn't mind sparring against her. To see the way she moves, just once..." Gilgamesh said.

Zidane sighed, daydreaming. Bartz looked between the two of them. He couldn't believe it.

"Really," he muttered. "Show some cleavage and you're all the guys'll think about."

"Tidus may be a slutty water nymph, but nothing can compare to Bartz!"

There was a silence, and Gilgamesh seemed to realize that the others had heard him. He stood, posed, for a few moments longer. When he abruptly ran off, he threw the map behind him at Bartz. Bartz caught it and smiled at Zidane.

"So, you wanna go with me?" he asked.

"Where to?" Zidane asked.

"That dark foreboding place we were talking about earlier."

Zidane nodded, smiling. The two ran off to find whatever the map led to.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Closer to the crystals

"You've never been lovelier, Majesty," Johnny said. He came up behind Mateus, the emperor's eyes never leaving his reflection. He stopped and ran his fingers through Mateus's damp hair. Mateus closed his eyes as a slight smile curved the corners of his lips upward. "Your eyes betray your heart, Majesty. What's troubling you?"

"It's nothing," Mateus sighed.

"Does it perhaps have something to do with that young man from the other day? You haven't been quite yourself since speaking with him." Johnny finished brushing Mateus's hair and reached around him for his crown. He set it in Mateus's hair and moved to fix the gemstones in their proper places.

"It's..." Mateus sighed again. "A feeling. When I was talking with him, or just near him, I felt... nervous, yet excited about something." Johnny tensed at Mateus's words. "Perhaps I should speak to someone about it?"

"It was merely the fact that you were asking assistance of those lower than you."

Matues turned to look at him. He felt certain that hadn't been the case, and yet.. Johnny had never led him astray before.

"I've always been there for you, Majesty. I always will be," Johnny said. He leaned in, gently touching his forehead to Mateus's. "If you ever need anything from me, you need only ask."

Mateus closed his eyes once more, listening to Johnny's steady breathing.

"Anything?" he whispered.

"Until the end of time."

-Kefka's Castle, the next day-

Vaan and Tidus had been wandering all day, wishing their crystals would just appear. The both of them were sick of looking for something that didn't seem to want to be found.

"I don't think we're going to find either of our crystals," Vaan said.

He was leaning against one of the walls. Tidus was sitting on the floor a few feet in front of him. There were dead manikins around them, though neither of them payed much attention to it.

"It's still worth a try," Tidus said. "Besides, Rosebud told us to look as hard as we could." She was silent, looking at the floor. Without looking up, she muttered; "Though I hope I don't find mine. 'Course, then everyone else wouldn't be able to return... They'd be so disappointed in me..."

"Hey, what's wrong?" Vaan asked. He had pushed himself off the wall, and was now leaning down to look at Tidus's face.

"Huh? Nothing."

Tidus stood and started walking the way they had been going before the manikins had attacked them. Vaan stared after her, unconvinced. Tidus stopped, realizing Vaan was still standing there. She turned and looked at him.

"Come, on. Can't keep everyone waiting too long!" _Gotta hide it... Can't let Firion find out... _

"You've been acting sorta strange lately... It's not because you're a woman... is it." Vaan sounded more like he was stating a fact than asking a question.

"Of course it is." Tidus forced a smile on her face. "You think I want to be a woman the rest of my life?"

"Well, you don't seem too bothered by it, actually," Vaan said. He started walking over to Tidus. "You carry on the way you always have. The fact that you're now a woman can't possibly bother you as much as something clearly is. Why would you continue to engage in sexual activity if it did?"

Tidus looked as though she was about to say something, but Vaan cut her off.

"It was really only after we started looking for the crystals, now that I think about it." Tidus was convinced he hadn't just thought of it. "That's when you got this kind of far-off, sad look in your eyes. Your smiles are forced too- don't argue," he interrupted her protest before it had started. "I know a false smile when I see one. Especially yours."

Tidus was silent, looking at the floor. Vaan stood, arms crossed. He obviously wasn't going to move until Tidus told him want was wrong. Tidus shifted uncomfortably.

"I..." She sighed. "I don't want to find my crystal." Tidus locked her gaze on the floor.

"Why not?" Vaan was confused- he couldn't understand why someone wouldn't want to go home. Especially after being away for so long. "I thought Spira ws a nice place. At least, by the way you and Yuna talk about it."

"Personal reasons," she said. Tidus laughed a bit. "Notice how this world's looking more and more different? More like an actual, living planet? We could stay here, if we wanted. The world's getting there. With just a little push-"

"Tidus..." Vaan started.

"-we could make this place inhabitable. It wouldn't be too bad to stay here, right? Dreams don't have to fade away here... and you don't have to say good-bye..."

Tears filled her bright blue eyes and spilled onto her cheeks. Vaan had no idea what she was talking about, or why she was so upset. What he did know was that he wanted to hold her, to ease her pain. In the next moment, he was. Tidus was crying, though there weren't many tears. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that he had seen her crying, Vaan wouldn't have known. She was obviously trying to hold it in.

"Whatever it is, it's okay to just cry," Vaan said. He was thinking of when his brother died. Penelo had told him the same thing. "You'll feel better if you don't try to hold it all in."

Tidus started really crying then. She hid her face in Vaan's chest in an attempt to muffle her sobs. When she fell to her knees, Vaan went with her. His fingers combed through her hair, his other hand rubbing her back. Tidus eventually fell asleep in his arms, never really telling him what was wrong.

-The Next day-

Tifa ran in, holding a crystal above her head. She had a big, happy smile on her face. She stopped, leaning over with her hands on her knees.

"Guys, I found it." She was breathless. "All I had to do was... be friendly with Sephiroth for a few hours." She straightened herself and smiled at the others again. "He's not actually that bad once you get him out of his hating everybody mood."

Tifa thought about Sephiroth, wondering why he had never shown that side of himself before. Sure, he had nearly killed her once upon a time... Vaan and Tidus came in together. Cecil grinned at the two while Zidane growled.

"Well, well. Adding another to your list, Tidus?" Cecil asked.

"No!" Tidus shouted.

"She just fell asleep, Cecil," Vaan said. His facial complexion was a bit pink. "Seeing as I couldn't carry her, I figured it'd be easier to just sleep there."

Tidus nodded in agreement. An aura of envy and anger was rolling off Zidane in waves. Everyone nearest him moved away from him.

"Sure, sure. If that's what you want to say," Cecil said.

"Tidus!" Firion's yell could be heard from the hallway. Unfortunately, Laguna was lost in his own mind somewhere, and didn't seem to hear him. The door flew open and Firion knocked Laguna over in his hurry to get to Tidus. He grabbed her and held her close. "The next time you plan on staying out overnight, tell me. I nearly died of worry."

"Sorry, Rosebud. It just kind of happened. I didn't plan it," She said.

"You're not hurt, right?" Firion asked. He pulled away from Tidus, holding her by the shoulders. He looked her over as Tidus laughed.

"I'm fine, Rosebud. Vaan was with me. He didn't let anything happen to me."

"Thank Cosmos you weren't by yourself," Firion said.

Tidus smiled nervously. Firion had been more protective lately, and Tidus wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Bartz came over, gently moving Firion's hands off Tidus.

"I need to talk to her," he said. Bartz pulled Tidus off without another word. "Um... About Je-"

"No. Don't mention that asshole," Tidus said. "You want to be with him, fine. I just wish you had asked my opinion."

"It probably wouldn't help if I asked now, would it?" Bartz smiled at Tidus.

"Not really," Tidus replied. "Seriously, if it makes you happy, stay with him. I really don't mind all that much."

"Well, thanks." Bartz smiled, then frowned again. "You find a way to return to normal yet?"

"Not yet," Tidus sighed. "I can't find anything, and the mages didn't know a thing. Kefka was the only one that got my hopes up, but then he just laughed at me and said everything was better this way." Tidus pouted, remembering Kefka's big, stupid smile and irritating laughter. "The only one I didn't ask was Shantotto. I didn't want to bother her while she was in her lab, and I haven't seen her out of it."

"You should go see her in her lab, then. She's got a sign up if she doesn't want disturbed."

Tidus smiled a thanks and ran off without another word. Tidus ran right to Shantotto's lab. Not seeing a sign, she knocked on the door.

"Who could that be? Prishe isn't due back till three." Shantotto opened the door. "You, is it? Why don't you come in for a minute."

Shantotto moved to the side, allowing Tidus to come into the lab. Tidus went into the room and sat at the chair Shantotto motioned toward. She came into the room as well.

"Prishe had been right. You really are quite the sight!"

Tidus felt a blush color his face.

"Tifa's more impressive than I am," she muttered.

"No, not your form, your clothes. It's quite wonderful you stayed in those."

"Why's everyone have to say that? All I want to do is return to normal." Tidus hung her head as she said this.

"Normal, you say? Normal is how you choose to spend each day," Shantotto said. Tidus wondered if it had been a bad idea to come see the small mage. She studied her posture and sighed. "The way to return to being male is simple. You must first find your crystal."

Tidus groaned at the rhyming. It was part of the reason she had hoped she wouldn't have to see Shantotto.

"Got any hints? I've been looking for the damn thing. It doesn't want to be found."

"Afraid not. Perhaps you should try denying the fiends what they want."

It took Tidus a few moments to figure out what she meant.

"Oh. Learn how to say no, then. Firion told me that the other day. Thanks, Shantotto. See you later."

Tidus left the lab and Shantotto got back to what she had been doing.

-Outside-

"5,900... 5,901... 5,902... 5,903... 5,904. Damn. Not enough," Vaan said. He was sitting in the lawn, counting his Gil.

"That's quite a bit of Gil for someone of your standing." Vaan looked up when he heard Mateus's voice. "What are you trying to buy?"

"A camera." Vaan shrugged. "I figured if we had pictures, then we wouldn't really forget everything. But the things are damn expensive."

"Really? How much could a camera possibly cost?" Mateus asked.

"Depends." Vaan was looking at Mateus, suspicion in his eyes. "The best is seven-thousand Gil, and there's only one left. I convinced the moogle to hold onto it for me. Now I've got till the end of the week to get up the Gil. Why'd you want to know?"

"Curiosity," Mateus said. As he was walking off, he heard Vaan yell after him.

"Don't even think of buying it!"

"We're going to the mall, aren't we?" Johnny asked. Mateus nodded and Johnny sighed.

Vaan sighed. He just didn't know what was with that man.

_Well, I should go find some more manikins. They dropped quite a bit, _he thought.

The Warrior of Light came along just then. In his arms were three Garden Gnomes.

"What are you doing?" Vaan asked him. The Warrior of Light turned to look at him.

"I thought Fudwick might have been getting lonely," he explained. "So I brought him some friends."

Vaan could've sworn the Warrior of Light would've known that Cecil was terrified of them. Of course, for all he knew, it could've been a way of intentionally terrifying the poor paladin. Vaan assumed he would never know.

"Say, who's missing their crystals now?"

The Warrior of Light thought as he set the other gnomes down with Fudwick.

"There's myself, Cecil, Tidus, you, Mateus, Garland, and Gabranth. Unless someone has found theirs within the last hour." He looked angry then. "I wish mine was as easy as Lightning's. All she had to do was give in to temptation and have... fun."

He took a sharp inward breath, and walked off. Mateus came over as the warrior's back was going out of view.

"Here," he said.

He held out his hand to Vaan. In his hand was the camera Vaan had been wanting to buy. Vaan looked from the camera to his face.

"Ah... You didn't- What do I owe you?" Vaan said. He knew the emperor wanted something.

Mateus's expression changed to one of confusion.

"Nothing. It's a gift. I wanted to buy you something, and I did."

"But... a camera? Why would you-"

Vaan cut himself off. His mind had already figured out the answer. For once, he was glad his mind had a tendency to think ahead of the rest of him.

"I see." Vaan grinned. "Well, it'll take more than money to win over this thief."

A blush spread across Mateus's face.

"What are you-"

"Why else would an emperor buy a commoner something so expensive and try to get to know them? I should've seen it earlier, honestly. When you weren't being a complete arrogant ass, you were trying to get to know me better. All those questions about my favorite things, what I like to do... Telling me a bit about yourself as well..." Vaan noticed Mateus about to say something. He knew what it was, though. "Don't even try to give me any of that nonsense. If you only wanted my body, you would've taken it by now. You've got magic that can prevent my movements. Not to mention, you're a lot smarter than I am. It wouldn't have been hard for you." Vaan waved his hand in front of him as he stated this simple fact. "Instead, you're taking a risk." Vaan moved closer as he spoke, causing Mateus to back away. "You're trying to get me to like you."

"Excellent points. But maybe I just didn't want you fighting me."

"Again, you have your traps."

"Maybe I didn't want to use them." Mateus grinned.

"Ah," Vaan said. He nodded. "The pretend-I-like them-and-ditch-them-once-we-have-sex routine." He smiled at Mateus. "You wouldn't do that. No, you couldn't."

"And how do you figure that?"

"I just can't see you pulling it off," Vaan said with a shrug. "It involves pretending to care for another person." He shook his head in mock disappointment. "Someone like you could never do it. Besides. If you were going to do that, surely you'd choose someone you don't like. I've done nothing to earn such anger from you."

Mateus was silent, staring at Vaan's face. The little thief was right, and they both knew it.

"What if I said you were right?"

"I'm not that overly fond of emperors. You'll have to convince me that you're worth it."

"I'll have to do my best, then."

Mateus smiled at Vaan. Vaan wasn't quite sure what he had just gotten himself into, but if he got to see another side of Emperor Mateus... he'd have something to brag about, at least.

Johnny glowered at Vaan.


	7. Chapter 7

Once again, I do not own these characters. Except Johnny.

Chapter 7: Finally, male again.

-One week later, main hall-

The Warrior of Light looked around at the assembled warriors. He had a frown on his face, which made the others nervous. He leveled each one with a look before speaking.

"It's been a month," he said. "Shouldn't we have found them all by now? It can't possibly take you this long to find a crystal."

"Well, some people haven't exactly been looking," Firion said. A glance at Tidus told everyone who he was talking about.

"Hey, I looked." Tidus averted her gaze from Firion. "I just haven't in a while. What's the hurry, anyway?"

"We don't belong here, Tidus. This world isn't-"

"We could make it work!" Tidus smiled optimistically.

"Tidus..." Worry was written all over Firion's face.

"There's no reason for us to stay. The war was the only reason we were here in the first place," Tifa said.

"Well, yeah. But, uh..." Tidus let her voice trail off. Firion looked as though he wanted to go over and hold her in his arms.

"What would be the point?" The Warrior of Light asked. "Everyone has unfinished business where they are from. This world isn't supposed to..."

He trailed off as Tidus looked down at the floor. She was biting her lower lip, and refused to meet anyone's eyes. Firion swore she looked like she was going to cry. He moved a bit closer to her.

"Why are you so determined, Tidus?" he asked.

"I'm just trying to spend more time with you guys!" Tidus smiled, trying to sell her story. She knew Vaan wouldn't fall for it, maybe not Firion. Everyone else on the other hand...

"You've got to be kidding me," Lightning said. She had a hand on her forehead, as though Tidus was already giving her a headache.

"I think it's a good idea," Zidane said. "At least for a while. We should as much together as possible."

"You're just saying that," Cecil said. "Words aren't going to get you in that whore and you know it. You need action, Zidane!"

Zidane looked determined. Firion stared, gaping, from Cecil to Zidane.

"Don't encourage him, Cecil."

"I'm not saying he should force her or anything. I'm just saying that he needs to take some actions to- What?"

Both Cecil and Firion turned to look at Bartz. At the mention of Tidus's gender, Bartz had begun laughing.

"Sorry... Sorry."

"Tidus has the right idea, I think," Cloud said.

"This world does seem to be coming more alive," Kain said. He was looking at the Warrior of Light. "It might be around longer than you think."

"Our friends must miss us, though..." Terra said. "Is this why our memories had to be erased? So we wouldn't want to leave before the war was over?"

"Probably best," Laguna said. "But now they're back. Maybe to spur us on our search?"

"In any case, we need to hurry. I can only be friendly with Garland for so long." The Warrior of Light looked around the room. "There aren't many crystals left to find. It can't be that hard."

"You know how to get yours," Vaan complained. "We haven't the slightest idea. You could, you know, help out..."

"What makes you think that I would know how everyone is supposed to find their crystals?" the Warrior of Light asked. "Go look. Help each other."

The Warrior of Light turned on his heel and walked out of the room. The others soon followed suit. Tidus hurried to the basement. She had been thinking too hard about finding her crystal, and needed someone to talk to. Once she got down there, she ran over to the door and knocked.

"You in there? I want to talk to you!" she yelled through the door.

The door opened, and ZombieBartz stood on the other side. Tidus could tell he was happy to see her, even though ZombieBartz's eyes had a blank look to them. ZombieBartz moved to the side so she could enter the room. Tidus walked over to the bed and sat down. ZombieBartz pushed the door closed and joined her. Tidus crossed her legs and stared at him.

"I hope I'm not bothering you. I just really don't want to talk to anyone else about this." Tidus fell silent. ZombieBartz looked at her as though asking what she wanted. Tidus nodded before speaking again. "Back in Spira, I... wasn't real. These things called the Fayth dreamt me up. In order to truly kill Sin, we had to kill them. They had been dreaming a thousand years, keeping the Zanarkand I knew alive. Obviously, they wouldn't be able to dream anymore. And if they couldn't dream anymore..." Tidus's eyes filled with tears. "I did it for Yuna. Yuna, and all the friends I had made. It was the only way. I didn't belong there, anyway. That's what I kept telling myself. I put on a smile, and... accepted..." The tears tumble from her eyes, curving down her cheeks. "Now that I have a choice, I don't... I can't... If I get my crystal, I'll have to... go back..." Tidus put her face in her hands, trying to hold herself together. ZombieBartz moved closer and put his arms around her. "I-I'm sorry I'm such a... cry-baby... It's just... Everyone... I can't let them d-down... They're my friends..." She was obviously trying to hold in her sobs. She started trembling in his arms. "I want to be normal again... But... Shantotto... I need that damn..."

Tidus gave in and clung to ZombieBartz's shirt. She could no longer hold back her sobs. ZombieBartz was unsure of what she had been talking about and what to do, so he mimicked what people on T.V. had done. He held her, running a hand through her hair and rubbing her back with the other. Tidus took gasping breaths between sobs, and kept hiccupping. ZombieBartz closed his eyes, leaning back on the bed. Tidus was half-laying on him, still crying into his shirt. ZombieBartz continued rubbing her back. They lay like that for a while, neither finding a reason to change the position.

Eventually, Tidus moved so she was straddling ZombieBartz. He sighed softly. He had been with Tidus enough times to know what she wanted. Tidus half-sat, holding herself up on her elbows. She looked down at ZombieBartz. Tears dripped onto his face and he opened his eyes.

"I know I'm not that attractive when I'm crying, but... Please," Tidus said.

ZombieBartz lifted a hand, laying it on the side of Tidus's face. A thumb brushed her tears away. Moving up toward her, he locked his gaze to her's. A blink sent more tears tumbling down her cheeks. His mouth met hers in answer to her pleading eyes. Tidus's reaction was immediate. Soon enough, the both of them had lost their clothes. She was straddling his hips, her hands covering his. Every movement sent her thoughts farther back in her mind. Each thrust forced her worries to be forgotten. Tidus intentionally drew it out as long as possible, driving her thoughts farther and farther back. By the time she hit orgasm, she had forgotten why exactly there were tear streaks down her face. It didn't take long for ZombieBartz to follow her lead. She collapsed on top of him, closing her eyes. ZombieBartz lay there holding her. Too soon, the two fell into sleep's gentle embrace.

-Next Day-

"Today's the day, Zidane," he told himself in the mirror. "Don't take no for an answer."

Zidane left the room, making sure to lock the door behind him. He hurried to the kitchen, where he knew he'd be able to find Firion. When he got there, he found Firion sitting at the table.

"You know where Tidus is?" he asked.

Firion looked up from the book he was reading. He stared at Zidane. The look in Firion's eyes gave Zidane the impression that Firion was uncertain about giving him such important information. Firion sighed. There would be no way of getting rid of Zidane if he didn't tell him.

"Out in the garden. Why?"

"I wanted to talk to her," Zidane said. He went to leave, and found himself pulled back. Firion had his tail in a death-grip. Zidane turned toward the other, more than a little nervous. Tears blurred his vision as Firion didn't let go.

"What do you really want to do, Zidane?" Firion smiled at Zidane. Judging from the grip Firion had on his tail, Zidane decided that Firion was once again hiding murderous intentions behind it.

"You won't kill me, right?"

"Of course not." Firion still had that smile on his face. Zidane took a breath to both calm himself and give him courage.

"I was planning on laying siege to the castle until the princess surrendered," he admitted.

"All by yourself?" Firion's voice was taunting.

"Hey, if some dog can do it, I can. In fact, I bet I could do it faster than the dog," Zidane said. Firion let go of his tail.

"If Tidus complains to me at all about your treatment, you're dead. Remember that." Firion had a completely serious expression on his face.

Zidane hurried from the room, holding his hurting tail. He practically ran to the garden, skidding to a stop on the dirt. Cecil was there with Tidus. He was gesturing to the four gnomes standing on the bench nobody ever used.

"There's three more of them!" Cecil was yelling. Tidus went to say something, only to be cut off by Cecil. "You don't understand. If their numbers get too large..."

Tidus grabbed Cecil by the shoulders and shook him.

"The Warrior of Light out them there. They aren't going to do anything on their own. They can't," she said.

"But, Tidus-"

"The gnomes can't move on their own, Cecil. Calm down." Tidus looked Cecil right in the eyes as she said this. "Okay?" Cecil nodded. Tidus let go of his shoulders.

"Tidus!" Zidane ran over. "I need to talk to you."

"What's up?" Tidus turned to Zidane.

"You know what," Zidane said. "I've only asked you a million times."

"The answer's the same as it's always been."

Cecil looked over at the two. Noticing the tension between them, he wandered off.

"Why?" Zidane's voice was raised a bit. "Why can't I even get a date from you?"

"We both know what a date with you would turn into," Tidus said. "I'm not-"

"Bullshit!" Zidane yelled. "Am I not animal enough, Tidus? I could be in Trance mode for you." Zidane's voice held a hint of desperation.

"That's not the-"

"What do I have to do? Beg?" Zidane had finally reached the end of his patience.

"Why would I want you to do something like that?" Tidus was genuinely confused. Zidane stared at him, open-mouthed.

"Because nothing else is working! I've tried almost everything." Zidane could feel his anger rising. "You wouldn't accept gifts, you wouldn't drink with me, and talking simply wouldn't work. I'm not a monster, and I can't just die before hand." Zidane moved so he was right against Tidus. "I've played with you long enough. I'm a thief. If you won't willingly give me what I want, I'll have to take it."

"I can't, Zidane!"

Zidane pushed Tidus and she landed on her butt. Tidus looked up at him. She was really, truly worried. Zidane leaned over her and roughly pressed his mouth against hers. Tidus tried to protest, but found it difficult. Her hands came up to shove at Zidane's chest. Zidane grabbed her hands and pinned them at her sides. Tears were welling up in Tidus's eyes. She couldn't believe this was happening. Tidus started trembling. Zidane trailed kisses down Tidus's throat, to her collarbone. Tidus took shaking, gasping breaths.

"Zidane... No... Please don't..."

Zidane glanced up at her. Tidus was gasping, tears streaming down her face. Zidane leaned down again. Tidus whimpered the moment his lips touched her. He took her by surprise when, with a sigh, he fell forward.

"Why can't I do it?" Zidane whined. "It's not like you've been looking for anything other than sex." Zidane gave an appreciative groan as her breasts pressed against his face. He nuzzled her, starting to cover her in kisses.

"That's why. I don't..." Tidus paused to moan a bit, "want to get too attached."

"What the hell?" Zidane sat up between her legs, staring at her. "You don't want too attached?"

"If we go home, we'll never see each other again. I don't want to get close to someone, only to have them taken away," Tidus explained.

"If you love someone, who cares?" Zidane asked. "Just enjoy the time you have together." Zidane smiled at Tidus.

"I don't want to." Tidus shook her head. "Not knowing I'll never see you again. I'd rather just-"

"-have meaningless sex with things that wouldn't care if you never returned?" Zidane finished the sentence for her. He shook his head at Tidus's logic. "Why even do it in the first place?"

Tidus looked at everything but Zidane before responding.

"Distraction. It gets my mind off things I don't want to think about."

"A lover could easily-"

"I know! I know that!" Tears came to Tidus's eyes again, and she angrily wiped them away. "Can't believe I'm crying again. Knowing that I'm going to vanish and leave them behind...I just couldn't do that." Tidus shook her head. "I'd feel like I was just using them."

"But if you were happy together, what does it matter?" Zidane lay a hand on Tidus's cheek. "Stuff happens, Tidus. You can't control it, and you can't stop it. You might as well just enjoy the time you have to the best of your abilities." He wiped Tidus's tears away. "Come on, stop crying." He grinned at her, trying to get a smile. "You can use me as much as you want. I won't mind." He winked. Tidus blushed, smiling a bit. "I've wanted you for a while. You know that. Even if you happen to be a female at the moment... Well, I guess I'll just have to give myself to you again later, won't I?"

"Fine. You win," Tidus said.

She moved up to connect her mouth to hers, but stopped short. Her entire body was tense a mere five seconds before pain tore through her. Tidus closed her eyes against the pain and tried not to scream. The last thing they needed was for Firion to come running out to check on them. Zidane stared, in complete shock. He had no idea what was going on. Tidus gripped his shoulders and fell back onto the ground. Zidane flinched when Tidus began screaming beneath him. Tears were streaming down her face. Zidane realized what was happening when he could feel, and hear, her body reverting to normal. There was a horrible cracking noise, increasing the sound of Tidus's wailing. Her whole body spasmed against his. Zidane thought about yelling for Tidus, but knew it wouldn't do any good. She- he probably wouldn't be able to hear him. Tidus arched upward before falling back onto the ground. Just as suddenly as it had started, it was over. Tidus lay, eyes closed, panting. Sweat covered his body and his hair clung to his face. His eyes fluttered a bit as he awoke.

"What happened? I was going to kiss you, and-"

"You're back to normal!" Zidane happily shouted. "I'm a little surprised Firion's not here. You were screaming awfully loudly."

Tidus smiled.

"It's a good thing Rosebud's not here," he said. Tidus pulled himself up, wrapping an arm around Zidane. He lightly kissed Zidane. "He'd ruin all our fun."

A glow came from above them. Tidus's crystal floated to the ground beside them, unnoticed by both. Tidus wrapped a leg around Zidane, pulling the smaller man close to him. Zidane gladly attacked Tidus's lips with his own. Zidane's tail slowly wound it's way up Tidus's leg and under his pants. A soft groan escaped, swallowed up by Zidane's mouth. Mere minutes later, their clothes lay in a discarded heap next to them. Tidus panted slightly as Zidane's fingers moved in and out, stretching him. Discomfort crossed his face, for the simple fact that he was unused to the sensation.

"Zidane. I'm fine," he said.

"I know your other lovers don't usually take the time," Zidane said. His tail resumed its incessant stroking of Tidus's thigh. "But I'm not interested in being like the others."

The fingers left Tidus, and he whimpered slightly. He had just begun to enjoy it. Zidane grinned at him. The genome moved up Tidus, planting kisses along the other's body. His tail remained in place, as though it had been glued there. Tidus seemed to have run out of patience. He moved, situating himself and pulling Zidane into him.

"H-Hey!" Zidane said.

The expression on Tidus's face shut him up. It was one of pure ecstasy. Tidus's head was back, exposing his entire throat to Zidane. His eyes were closed and his lips were parted slightly. A blink brought Zidane out of his trance-like state and he started thrusting. Tidus arched against him. He had obviously done this numerous times before- the only fact about this that bothered Zidane. He leaned down so his mouth was level with Tidus's ear.

"When I'm done with you, I promise you won't have a reason to want another," he whispered.

Tidus's only response was a low moan.


	8. Chapter 8

Once again, I do not own these characters. Except Johnny.

Chapter 8: Gnomes!

-Around Midnight-

The sound of an explosion shattered the peaceful night air. Though it had happened in the basement, the noise had been loud enough to rouse quite a few of harmony's warriors. Tidus threw himself out of bed and started running to the basement. The Warrior of Light leapt out of bed, sword in hand, and hurried to the monitor. He quickly turned it on, and activated the basement cameras. All he got was static. He hurried out of his room, going to the basement.

"He's gone..." Tidus said.

He had arrived shortly before the warrior, and was looking around the room in concern. Bartz ran in shortly after him, better dressed than either of the others.

"ZombieMe!" he yelled. "Where is he?"

All of them looked at the hole in the wall.

"Maybe... Through there?" Bartz suggested. He went over and leaned on the edge of the hole, peering in. "Whoever did this knew what they were doing."

"I will find out what happened," the Warrior of Light said after taking a deep breath. "Go back to sleep."

He turned and left the room.

"I hope he's all right..." Bartz looked at Tidus suddenly. "Why'd you come down here? I thought you'd hate getting up this early."

"He's my friend. I was worried about him," Tidus said.

The two left the room. Tidus watched the floor. Bartz watched him.

"Are you all right?"

"No," Tidus sighed. "I was just thinking. If he's gone now, I'll have to go to Firion for all my troubles."

"That's why you have that look?" Bartz laughed. "Firion's pretty good at helping people with their troubles. I don't see why-"

Tidus stopped, staring at Bartz.

"He's a little obsessive, if you haven't noticed. If I told him about any of my worries, or... other things, he'd never leave me alone. Not until I felt better."

Bartz wasn't sure what was so wrong with Firion acting that way, but didn't mention it to Tidus. The other changed the subject, anyway.

"Could it have been one of discord's warriors?" He had started walking again, and was now next to Bartz.

"Why would they want something like that? He's just another manikin. Sure, he's got s bit more of a brain than the average manikin but-" Bartz fell silent and stopped moving.

"Hm?" Tidus walked a few more steps and turned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Come on." Bartz grabbed Tidus's arm and pulled him off.

-Later that morning-

The Warrior of Light stood before the warriors of harmony. Behind him was the living room's large television. Lightning was standing next to it, holding a tape.

"Earlier today, I had Lightning rewind the video to just before midnight. This is what the cameras picked up."

He moved to the side, and Lightning turned the video on. The image showed the basement's extra room. ZombieBartz was sleeping on his bed. The explosion that had woken them up happen, blasting the back wall open. ZombieBartz sat up, staring at the new hole in his wall. Dust was hiding the hole from the viewers. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't see anything through it. Before the dust had a chance to settle, a rock came flying at the camera and hit it. Cracks split the screen and the image reverted to static. The image faded completely seconds later. For a few moments, everyone was silent.

"We can only assume that whoever took our manikin did so in the few minutes it took us to get to the basement. Who this enemy is, we haven't the slightest clue. What they want with that specific manikin is an even larger mystery." He looked around the rom. "Someone has to go into that hole and find out where the tunnel leads."

"I'll go," Cloud said. "Shouldn't be too hard."

"Then it's settled. Everyone else shall aid Vaan and Cecil. They're the only two of our group who haven't yet found their crystal."

Cecil was staring at the floor, looking as though something was troubling him. The Warrior of Light walked over to him and gently laid his hand on the paladin's arm.

"What's the matter, Cecil?"

"It's..." The paladin was silent. He was unsure if he should mention his thoughts to the other warrior. He bit his lower lip. "Could it have been the gnomes?"

"Of course not. They can't move on their own, much less orchestrate a kidnapping." At the look on the other's face, he sighed. "If you're that worried about it, look."

Cecil nodded as the Warrior of Light left. He turned, and hurried to the garden. The gnomes were always standing under the tree where the warriors often had picnics when the weather permitted it. Cecil stared at them. He could've sworn they were staring back.

"Sneaky little bastards," he said. His eyes narrowed. "You may have everyone else fooled, but I'm onto you." Fudwick's eyes seemed to glint. "I knew it!"

"So, Comos's finest warriors are finally losing their minds."

"About time!" The speaker laughed.

"I am perfectly sane!"

Cecil spun around to glare at his new companions. Sephiroth and Kefka stared at him. They obviously didn't believe him.

"That," Cecil pointed at Fudwick, "is the very definition of evil. You have no idea what he's capable of." The other two looked at Fudwick and smiled. "If we don't keep an eye on him-"

"Admit it. You're a lunatic," Kefka said. He tried, and failed, to hold in his laughter. The pretty moon boy going crazy was too much for him.

"I am not." Cecil stomped his foot. "Trust me. That gnome is pure evil."

Sephiroth looked at Fudwick again. He saw no way that a garden gnome could be inherently evil. Or take over the world, for that matter.

"He's just a statue. He can't be that dangerous," he finally said.

"He is! I am not crazy!" Cecil shouted.

"Well, he wouldn't admit it, now would he?" Kefka asked. Sephiroth nodded.

Cecil was looking between the two, feeling oddly betrayed. Of everyone he knew, he figured discord's warriors at least would believe him. Laguna ran over to the group.

"Cloud's back. Says it doesn't go anywhere," he said.

"That was fast," Cecil commented.

"He said he ran." Laguna shrugged. "Anyway, the two lights want you and me to go with Prishe to look around."

"Shouldn't Bartz go? They did steal a manikin of him."

"Did something happen?" Sephiroth asked.

"Don't worry about it," Prishe said. She looked at Cecil and Laguna and smiled. "Come on, guys! Let's get going!"

Prishe put herself between the two, grabbing both of their arms. She practically dragged her comrades away from the garden. Sephiroth and Kefka exchanged a look before deciding that they really didn't care. They were only there for the roses anyway.

-Other side of the tunnel-

"What the hell? There's nothing here!" Prishe exclaimed.

"Cloud did say that," Laguna pointed out.

"I'm surprised you even know that. You're always off in your own little world-"

"I'm never in my own little world."

Cecil ignored his companion's continued bickering and looked around. The tunnel had brought them to the center of a forest. The sun was shining through the trees and the birds were singing from where they sat in the branches.

"What are we supposed to be looking for?" he asked. "Something hidden in the woods?"

"You mean some kind of hidden military complex?" Laguna asked.

"I was thinking more like a cabin, or a suspicious cave," Cecil said. He honestly had no idea how Laguna had come up with that.

The group started off into the woods, idly chatting about nothing in particular. As they went farther into the woods, they began feeling uneasy. A path came up in front of them. With just a nod to show they had the same thought, the group set off following the path. Soon, half-eaten manikins and monsters started appearing on the sides of it. Cecil looked disgusted, though Laguna and Prishe didn't seem to find anything wrong with the sight. A huge building reared up before them. Upon inspection, it appeared to be a temple of some sort. ZombieBartz was standing in front of the door, talking to a gnome. The three quickly hid in the bushes, being sure to make as little noise as possible.

"We can't wait any longer. You've already wasted too much time finding me a suitable host." The voice that came from ZombieBartz definitely didn't suit him. It was deep and rumbling, more like the voice you'd expect from a dragon. "Bring your forces and the Minotaur. Erase that light from my kingdom. Leave all but the horned one alive. The others are to be brought back here as prisoners."

"What do we do now?" Laguna whispered. Prishe looked at him.

"We take him down, of course," she whispered back. ZombieBartz turned and went inside.

"A frontal charge would be suicide. We need a plan," Cecil said.

"Shouldn't we warn the others?" Laguna asked. Cecil shook his head.

"There's not enough time for that." Cecil looked at the temple. "We'll take care of this, then regroup with the others. These gnomes have got to go down."

Laguna nodded, then smiled at Cecil.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" he asked.

Cecil smiled. "A little."

-An hour later, Harmony HQ-

"They've been gone a long while," Squall said.

He had been pacing back and forth in the living room for a while now. Kain and Zidane just watched him.

"I assume that means they've found something," Kain said. He had hoped it would make the other calm down a little, but it didn't seem to have any effect.

"What if he gets lost or something?" Squall muttered. "I don't want anything to happen to him..."

Kain sighed. Squall really did care about Laguna. Of course, if anyone had asked him, he would've denied it. Zidane sat up and stared at the window. He seemed to be concentrating hard on something.

"We've got company," he said.

The wall burst inward seconds after the words had left Zidane's mouth. The warriors drew their weapons in preparation for battle. An army of gnomes charged the building, followed close behind by demented humanoid creatures. Headquarters was being assaulted from all directions. The warriors were taken momentarily by surprise, quickly recovering from their shock. Their counterattack was barely enough to hold back the enemy forces.

Firion ran down the hall, ignoring most of the fighting. There was only one thing n the world he cared about at that moment, and he had to make sure it was all right. He spotted him running toward him from the other end of the hall.

"Tidus!" Firion grabbed the other and held him close. "Oh you're all right. I was sure something had happened to you," he said.

"I thought you'd be worried about me, so I went to find you." Tidus pushed back out of Firion's embrace. "We need to help the others. Go to the Warrior of Light. I gotta find Yuna!"

Tidus ran off and Firion nodded. He ran off in the opposite direction, bringing himself right to the Warrior of Light's room. He was standing in the doorway.

"What happened?" he said as soon as Firion was close enough.

"We're under attack," Firion told him.

An explosion shook the hallway. A group of deformed manikins ran down the hall toward them. Firion pulled out his bow and started shooting them. The Warrior of Light drew his sword.

-Gnome HQ-

While Harmony Headquarters was under attack, Laguna, Prishe, and Cecil were having difficulties of their own. They had gotten deep into the temple, leaving many corpses behind them. There were a lot of enemies, and each was stronger than it looked. Laguna had kept his machinegun on most of the dungeon, killing anything that attempted an attack from behind. Prishe and Cecil took care of all the frontal enemies.

"Damn things just keep coming!" Prishe yelled. She threw one of the manikins down the stairs before them. It knocked the other creatures at the bottom down. The warriors ran past them.

The threesome ran down the only hall after the staircase. It was long, with huge double doors at the end. There was a horned creature carved into the door, which Cecil stared at.

"Boss's probably through here, Cecil," Laguna said. He leaned on the wall and put a hand on his right calf. "Damn leg. You guys go ahead. I'll keep the uglies out of there."

"You're sure?" Cecil asked. He was looking at Laguna with concern.

"I can protect myself." Laguna nodded. "I'll just be a liability anyway."

"Don't you die on us, you hear?" Prishe said.

Cecil and Prishe went through the door into what looked like a throne room. Once the door was shut again, Laguna leaned back on it. He took a deep breath.

"You better know what you're doing, Laguna."

In the other room, Cecil and Prishe were approaching the throne. The both of them were ready for anything. ZombieBartz looked up at smiled at his guests.

"You're here to kill me, I presume?" that deep, rumbling voice asked.

"Yes," Cecil responded. "And we shan't lose!" He got into battle stance.

_What the hell? _Prishe thought. She got into battle stance as well.

ZombieBartz laughed. "So you say. Prepare, Light Warriors!"

He charged at them wielding Lightning's double swords. Prishe dove to the side, while Cecil dove to the right. They just managed to escape the range of both swords. Cecil threw his spear at him, darkness radiating off it. ZombieBartz pulled up one of the swords and deflected the spear. Prishe charged in from her side, hoping to take advantage of the distraction. He nearly hit her with another swing of the sword. Prishe flipped backward, landing on her feet and moving around him. ZombieBartz cast Thundaga, and lightning sped toward Cecil. Cecil moved away. His mind was racing in an effort to figure out a plan. Nothing was coming. Prishe was doing the same on her side of the stage. ZombieBartz switched to Zidane then, charging at Cecil. Cecil pulled his spear up, deflecting the first attack. ZombieBartz turned, swinging the dagger at Cecil's side. Cecil moved out of the way before ducking under a swing from his other hand. As Cecil continued this strange dance, Prishe found her opening. She ran up behind ZombieBartz and landed a strong kick to the back of his head. ZombieBartz staggered a bit, stopping his attack. Cecil pulled the spear back, stabbing it deep into ZombieBartz. ZombieBartz growled and sent the two of them flying back with a burst of energy. Cecil landed on the floor hard while Prishe barely managed to land on her feet. He turned to Prishe. Before she could react, he had switched again and began shooting at her. Prishe wasn't having fun dodging bullets and trying to see if Cecil was all right. The paladin got to his feet, grimacing. He grabbed his spear and looked at ZombieBartz. Switching to Dark Knight, Cecil ran over and stabbed ZombieBartz in the back. He activated Soul Eater. The soul possessing ZombieBartz started flowing into him. Cecil felt as though he was burning up, but held on anyway. When ZombieBartz fell to his knees, Cecil pulled the spear free. Cecil staggered back. Prishe ran over and caught him.

"Damn you," ZombieBartz said. He was glaring at the both of them. He began laughing. "You may have defeated me, but I am a god! You cannot kill a god!"

"Perhaps not," Cecil said. He pushed away from Prishe and took a step toward the kneeling god. "But we can kill your link to this world." He fell to his own knees, and ran ZombieBartz through. "I am sorry," he said. He pulled away from the now lifeless form.

"We gotta return to the others now," Prishe said.

"Let's go." Ceil nodded.

-Back at Harmony HQ-

Tidus and Yuna were in the ballroom. They were breathing heavily, looking around. Dead creatures littered the floor. Tidus flashed a smile to Yuna, who returned it. The roar of the Minotaur was the only warning they had before the beast charged through the wall. Yuna backed a step and started casting protect. The beast ran at her and swung at her. The back of its arm slammed into her side, sending her flying. Yuna hit the wall and collapsed on the floor.

"Yuna!"

Tidus ran forward, disregarding his own safety. He swung Brotherhood at the Minotaur. It stopped his swing with its arm. Tidus tried to pull back and found his sword stuck deep in the Minotaur's arm. He dodged away, letting go of the hilt. The Minotaur ignored the pain in its arm and charged at Tidus. He ran out of the way again, leading it away from Yuna. The Minotaur ripped Brotherhood out of its arm and threw it to the side. Tidus looked behind himself and tripped over one of the bodies on the floor. He started getting up, but was hindered by a hand on his back. Tidus turned slightly, looking up at it. He recognized the look in its eyes and groaned.

"Oh shit." He tried to move away, but was stuck in place. "I don't want to mate with you!" he yelled.

The Minotaur roared at him and he fell silent. Yuna shifted, opening her eyes. She lifted herself off the floor and looked around. She noticed Tidus, on his hands and knees in front of the Minotaur. She did what came naturally.

"Tidus," She stood and grabbed her staff from the floor. "Come, Anima!"

A three-pronged anchor came down from the ceiling and sank into the floor. When the chain retracted, it brought the Aeon with it. Anima yelled, the chains around her rattling. Yuna stared with determination as the Minotaur turned and bellowed. It charged at Anima, leaving Tidus alone. Tidus turned in time to see Anima blast the Minotaur with a laser from her eye. The Minotaur burst into dust. Yuna dismissed Anima, thanking her. Tidus ran over to Yuna and hugged her.

"Thanks, Yuna."

"You've saved me plenty of times." She smiled at him. "I just returned the favor."


	9. Chapter 9

Once again, I do not own these characters. Except Johnny.

Chapter 9: Dispelling Demons

Mateus and Vaan had been spending time together when the invasion had happened. A gnome had ran into the room and yelled to others that a horned man was in there. Once his reinforcements came, Mateus laid an electrocution trap on the floor and activated it. Everyone but him fell over, paralyzed. The gnome who had first ran in there struggled, but couldn't get himself free. Mateus walked over to him and looked him right in the eye.

"Now, what are you and your friends trying to accomplish? Aside from world domination," he asked.

"I won't tell you!" the gnome yelled.

The gnome spit on Mateus, who didn't look pleased. There was a low growl and the gnome's upper half was separated from his lower half. The other gnomes suffered the same fate before they even had a chance to offend the emperor. Johnny went to kill Vaan, but Mateus stopped him.

"Johnny! Stop!"

Johnny turned and glared at Mateus before leaving the room. Vaan tried to move, frowning. He was annoyed that Mateus's guard had tried to kill him. Mateus went over to Vaan, looking down his nose at him. Vaan found himself growing more irritated.

"That look suits you," he said. Vaan glared up at him.

_I hate it when he's in this mood, _Vaan thought.

"The gnomes are dead. Let me up," Vaan said.

"Why should I?" Mateus leaned down, looking directly into Vaan's eyes. "You're right where I want you."

"No I'm not." Vaan grinned. "If I were beneath you, gasping in pleasure, I'd be where you want me."

"I could put you there." Mateus stood up again.

"Right now? The room's a little dirty, _Your Majesty._"

Vaan smirked at Mateus. He thought for sure he had Mateus cornered. Surely an emperor wouldn't lower himself that far for anyone.

-Meanwhile, Downstairs-

"Now that that's settled, is everyone all right?" the Warrior of Light asked.

Everyone nodded. A crystal floated down to Cecil, who took it cheerfully. The Warrior of Light smiled.

"Not many left."

-Back upstairs-

Mateus swooped down on Vaan like a hawk on his prey. Their mouths clashed and Vaan found himself wishing he could move. All he could do was move his lips against Mateus's. The emperor ran his hands down Vaan's sides, lightly scratching him. Vaan parted his lips in a gasp. Mateus slipped his tongue in Vaan's mouth, starting a battle for dominance. Both knew the outcome, but played it out to its completion. Mateus moved his hands to the sash Vaan wore over the top of his pants. It didn't take long for it to come undone and fall off him. Mateus moved farther down, pulling off Vaan's boots and tossing them to the side. The young thief moaned in pleasure as Mateus attacked his sensitive nipples with his teeth and tongue. His hands pulled Vaan's pants off and tossed them to the side as well. Grinning, he sat back to admire his handiwork. Vaan was panting, a heavy blush crossing his face. The thief looked at the emperor and frowned.

"Well? Gonna join me?" he asked.

"Eager to get it over with?"

"No." Vaan smiled. "Just eager to see what's under your armor."

Mateus smiled. He got to his feet, removing the crown first. He set it on the floor. As though he had all the time in the world, Mateus began taking off his armor. Vaan watched, whimpering slightly at how long the other was taking. By the time the last of Mateus's armor fell to the floor, both were quite hard.

"Come on," Vaan demanded.

"Patience, little thief."

Mateus chuckled, leaning down and pressing two fingers against Vaan's lips. The thief looked concerned, but took them anyway. Once he deemed them wet enough, Mateus slipped his fingers from Vaan's mouth. Mateus smiled at Vaan as he pressed a finger against his entrance. Vaan squeaked as it slowly pressed into him.

"Don't worry. I'll be careful," Mateus assured him.

With his free hand, Mateus moved Vaan's arms over his head and held them together by the wrists. He released the trap he had across the floor, setting a new one on Vaan's wrists. Vaan wriggled a bit, and Mateus's hand held his hips still. When another finger joined the first, another squeak came. Mateus took his time stretching his thief, enjoying the noises he was getting from him. Vaan seemed to be having a hard time deciding if he wanted to move toward the hand or away from it. Mateus couldn't have either. He was the one in charge here, though he did enjoy Vaan's little struggles against being held down. Once he was sure Vaan was stretched enough, he removed his fingers and settled between the other's legs. Vaan lifted them, eagerness evident in his movements.

"Now, Your Majesty," he said. Mateus grinned.

"Remember what I said about patience, little thief." Looking around, he found there was nothing to make it any easier on Vaan.

"_Please, Mi'Lord," _Vaan said. That mocking tone was back in the thief's voice.

Mateus scowled. The body beneath him didn't resist as he pushed into it. It did the exact opposite. Hips came up to meet his. A combination of a sigh and a groan came from his own throat. Vaan smirked a bit. His body arched against Mateus's, telling him to go. Hips began moving against each other in a steady rhythm. Vaan tried to move his arms, finding that it was no use. Mateus leaned down, pressing his forehead against Vaan's. His breathing was uneven, and Vaan found himself smirking again. Not many would believe that a rat off the streets could get a reaction like this from an emperor. His thoughts were interrupted when Mateus hit a certain spot inside him. He gasped and arched against the other. Mateus grinned down at him. The thief wasn't lost in thought anymore, though Mateus wasn't sure how he had lost himself in thought in the first place. The gentle grip he had on Vaan's hips tightened, earning a pained groan from the thief. The pace increased and Vaan opted to not stay quite. Even if he had, Mateus would've found a way to change his mind. He'd find some other way to get back at the emperor. He tried to move his hips, but the movement was prevented. Mateus seemed to be enjoying himself, judging by the low groans he was making in Vaan's ear. One of Mateus's hands relinquished its hold on Vaan's hip and slipped between them. He pumped the other in time with his thrusting. Vaan reached orgasm first, pulling Mateus right behind him. Mateus pulled out of Van and rolled off of him.

"Could you release my arms now?" Vaan asked, a little breathless.

Mateus released the trap. Vaan instantly turned and wrapped them around the emperor. The two drifted off to sleep as two crystal appeared next to them.

-The next day, sometime after lunch-

Vaan held his crystal up, looking at it. He had no idea what had qualified him to get the crystal, but he was glad. Now the Warrior of Light could calm down a little. Vaan looked at the door when someone walked in. He was pretty sure he had never seen the man before. He had short dark purple hair and dark brown eyes. He was muscular and had a sword at his side. He noticed Vaan and walked right up to him.

"Vaan," the man said, "I challenge you to a duel."

"What? I-"

"His Majesty is mine!"

Vaan knew who he was now. If the declaration hadn't been enough, he would've recognized the sword now pointed at his throat. Disbelief filled his eyes as he stared at Johnny.

"Why don't you talk to him about it?" Vaan asked. "It wasn't my idea."

"You took what's mine," Johnny snarled. "I don't care who started it!" He took a deep breath and asked more calmly, "Do you accept my challenge or not?"

Vaan tried to think of something quick, and went with the first thing that came to mind.

"I can't. If I accept, I'll die. Common thief such as myself doesn't stand a chance against a fully-trained warrior like yourself." He shrugged, hoping the slight flattery would work. "I couldn't even defeat you in my dreams. Not in a fair fight, anyway. It's not like I'm actually taking your place either. I couldn't hope to be in that position in a million years." Vaan thought of something else fast. "If you kill me, I can't use my crystal and we'll be stuck here till the end of time. If you let me live, and I use my crystal, we'll be in our own worlds again. Then, you can have him all to yourself again." It didn't look like it was working. "'Course, you might kill me anyway. You seem like the murderous possessive type. Kinda like Firion, actually." Vaan got an idea. "You know what you should do? You should talk to Firion. At least about that possessive attitude you've got. He keeps his under control pretty well. ...He's more obsessive, isn't he? You should see him when he doesn't know where Tidus is. It's almost like not knowing is driving him crazy. Makes it a little strange that we go to him for all our problems when you stop and think about it. He might have more problems than anyone else here."

Johnny gave up and left the room. Vaan remained oblivious.

"Then again, Tidus has got some serious issues too. Bartz is just about the weirdest person I've met... No. That might be Gilgamesh. That guy's pretty weird. Laguna's got some problems too, though. He's either lost in thought- highly unlikely- or he's in his own little world." Vaan contemplated his epiphany. "It would certainly explain why he's getting lost all the time. If he's not even here, how would he know where he's going?"

Vaan continues for a while...

-Discord HQ, Mateus's Room-

"Majesty!"

Mateus turned when Johnny barked at him. The knight was coming into the room, and didn't look too happy.

"Johnny?"

Johnny shoved Mateus against a wall.

"You can't replace me with him!" he yelled.

"I can do whatever I want. You of all people should know that." Mateus calmly stared into Johnny's eyes.

"After all this time, you're going to replace me with some common thief?"

"I can't help it if I've fallen in love," Mateus replied.

"In love?" Johnny couldn't believe what he was hearing and it was evident in his tone. "He doesn't even know you."

"He knows me well enough. Vaan doesn't need to know my past. It doesn't matter in this world."

Johnny stared at Mateus, who stared back.

"I've been with you all this time, Majesty. I know you better than even your parents did. But you choose him. I was there for you when no one else could be. I was there when you needed to let down your regal mask and show how you truly felt about something. We have been through so much, and now you're going to throw it all away because some thief has stolen your heart?"

"No." Mateus looked like he couldn't believe Johnny. "Johnny, you're the best friend I could ever hope to have. I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world. But my heart belongs to Vaan."

"And if he wasn't here anymore? Then who would your heart belong to?"

"Johnny..." Mateus's tone was a warning.

"Would I stand a chance then? Or would you find someone else to take my rightful place?"

"Johnny, you leave him alone!"

Johnny ignored Mateus, vanishing. Mateus stared ahead of himself a few moments and ran out of the room.

-Harmony HQ, hall-

"I'm worried, Firion. He might try to kill me," Vaan was saying to Firion as they walked down the hall.

"You'll be fine, Vaan." Firion smiled at him. "After what you've told us about Ivalice, I'm sure you could keep yourself alive."

"I had friends fighting with me in Ivalice. One-one-one against someone like him, I'm going to die."

Firion put his hands on Vaan's shoulders. He looked into his eyes.

"Vaan. You're a thief. Thieves have to be fast. Use that to your advantage."

"But he's Mateus's private guard or something like that. What if he's faster? What if he's not even human, and comes back even if I manage to kill him?"

"It's not like he's going to expect you to fight fair, Vaan. You're a peasant as well as a thief. They're not expected to fight fair."

"Thief!" Johnny's voice came from down the hall. Firion and Vaan both turned to look at him. "I have come to take back his Majesty's heart. Whether you accept or not, we will fight."

Johnny drew his sword as Vaan lifted his hands in surrender.

"I really don't think we need to fight over this. Can't we just work something out?"

Johnny ignored his words. He swung the sword in an attempt to slice Vaan's head off his shoulders, but Vaan ducked underneath it. He scampered away, much to Johnny's annoyance.

"A game of cat-and-mouse, is it?" he said.

Firion went to say something, but decided against it. Johnny set off in search of the little mouse. Vaan kept just a few minutes ahead of Johnny until they found themselves in the garden. Johnny threw his sword at Vaan, hitting his leg. Luckily, it hadn't gone through it, and had instead grazed it as he rounded a corner. Vaan tried to ignore his pain and turned to face Johnny.

"What is your problem?" he yelled when Johnny came around the corner. "It's not like I even wanted his heart! He just gave it to me."

"Liar!" He swung again, and Vaan managed to fall back out of range. "You stole him from me!"

"Why would I even want him?"

"Then you're using him!" Johnny's expression became more outraged. Vaan released a shaking breath.

"No. If anyone's heart was stolen, it was mine." His sword clashed with Johnny's when Johnny swung at him this time. His leg nearly gave out from under him.

"You will give his Majesty back to me." Johnny growled. "We were fine before you came along!"

Vaan held back his attacks even as his leg was threatening to give out.

"I already told you, I didn't do it because I wanted to!" he yelled over the clashing of metal. "If I had a say in the matter, he would never have fallen in love with me!"

"Lies!" Johnny swung at Vaan's throat that time and Vaan knocked his sword to the side.

"I'm not lying! I don't even like royalty." He stopped Johnny's next swing with his sword. If he had to stop one more of them, he was going to lose this battle. "I've never had a good relationship with any royalty I've met. It was his choice to show me another side of himself. Not mine. All I did was give him the chance."

Johnny pushed his sword toward Vaan, causing him to stumble. Vaan's leg refused to hold him and he fell onto his butt. He backed away from Johnny until his back hit the wall.

"You want him angry with you this badly? You know he'd never forgive you," Vaan said. He didn't have much time before Johnny reached him.

"He'd forgive me. Eventually. I've only ever been looking out for his well-being. Everything I do has his best interests at heart. He'll thank me when he understands why I had to do this."

Johnny raised his sword and Vaan squeezed his eyes shut. Mateus ran around the corner. Seeing Johnny's sword slicing down toward Vaan, he trapped Johnny in place. Johnny tried to move, growling when he found that he couldn't. Mateus came up from behind him. His arms wrapped around Johnny and he leaned on his back.

"Thank you," Mateus said. Johnny looked surprised and Vaan opened his eyes. "You've always been here for me, and I appreciate it. But I can't allow you to kill Vaan. He means everything to me now. Your job is done. I'll be fine without you. Rest now."

Johnny closed his eyes. Feeling Mateus's arms still around him, he smiled in content.

"Very well, Majesty." He looked back at Vaan. "If anything happens to him, I'm going to hold you personally responsible."

Vaan thought that was a little unfair, but nodded anyway. Johnny vanished. Mateus looked down at Vaan. Vaan let out a breath of relief. His eyes closed and he slumped against the wall.

"So, what was all that?" he asked.

"I like to think of him as a guardian," Mateus said. "I used to need him all the time. I suppose it's no wonder he... Well, I banished him. There's no need to worry anymore."

"A guardian?" Vaan looked back up at Mateus. "Couldn't you get rid of any threats before they got close enough to kill you?"

Mateus sat next to Vaan.

"He was more of an emotional guardian," Mateus admitted. He sounded a bit reluctant. "He doesn't really exist. I banished him back into my mind."

Vaan's expression went from confused to shocked to depressed.

"I was almost killed by someone's imagination? The others are going to laugh when they hear that."

Both laughed.

"You're really not so bad once you let loose and stop trying to conquer everything." A smirk crossed Vaan's face when he looked over at Mateus. "I might actually miss you."

"'Might'?" Mateus raised an eyebrow. "Don't you mean 'will'? What's not to miss?"

"Your arrogance, for one." Vaan leaned on Mateus's shoulder. "You're the only emperor I've met that I actually like."

"And you're the only peasant I've had more than a passing interest in."

The two stayed like that for a while, each enjoying the other's company.


	10. Chapter 10

Once again, I do not own these characters.

Chapter 10: The End

-Elsewhere-

For the past few days, Gabranth had been wandering in search of his crystal. His memories demanded that he return to Ivalice. There were duties he had abandoned there. As Judge Magister, he felt that that was simply unforgivable. However, every gateway he had gone in thus far had refused to yield the crystal. Gabranth couldn't think of any other way for someone such as himself to get a crystal. Hatred wasn't what drove him anymore... As far as he could tell. If the words of the Warrior of Light were to be trusted, he didn't need to do much else. After days of searching and being unable to find something that even resembled his crystal, he was ready to go against everything he had ever told himself. He was ready to give up. Gabranth sat on the nearest rock and looked at his hands.

"Lord Larsa... forgive me. I should be protecting you. Not stuck in this once-barren land."

A tap on his shoulder made him look up. Standing before him was the very person he had been talking to.

"Lord Larsa." Gabranth was shocked. Larsa was not supposed to be there, he was supposed to be in Ivalice. Gabranth grabbed the young prince's hands, falling to his knees before him. "What are you doing here?"

Larsa pulled his hands from Gabranth's and put them on the Judge's face. Gabranth closed his eyes. Larsa leaned forward and gently pressed his mouth to the older man's. When Gabranth opened his eyes in shock, he was holding his crystal. He looked down at it and smiled. Now, he could return to Ivalice and continue his duties. Without a second thought, he stood and set off for Discord Headquarters.

-Mysterious Temple-

"Why did you call me out here, Garland?" the Warrior of Light asked.

"All of my warriors have found their crystals," Garland said. "We can now activate the portal."

The Warrior of Light nodded.

"I shall go talk to my warriors. They may want a bit of time to say good-bye."

The two left the temple and returned to their headquarters. Once there, they assembled their respective warriors and explained the situation.

Garland got a unanimous answer. As though they had rehearsed it- which Garland ultimately decided was impossible- they had all announced that it would be best to have a few days to say farewells to certain people.

The Warrior of Light got a mixed answer. Most of Harmony's warriors were glad they could finally go home. Some were sad to lose the friends they had made there. One of the warriors almost had a frightened look on his face, as though he didn't want to go home. Firion decided he would have to talk to him. They all agreed that they would like a few more days. The Warrior of Light wasn't sure why they wanted to draw this out, but went with it anyway. The moment they were alone, Firion pinned Tidus to the nearest wall.

"What's bothering you?" he asked.

"N-nothing."

"I can tell something's bothering you." His expression softened a bit. "Why are you so afraid of going back to Spira?"

"I'm not. I'm fine." Tidus knew Firion wasn't going to buy it. He never did, no matter how hard Tidus tried.

"Tidus... You can talk to me." He laid a hand on Tidus's cheek.

"I'm just being selfish, Rosebud. You don't want to hear about me being selfish." Tidus smiled. It faltered when Firion didn't seem to believe it.

"Tell me all about it. You know I'm always more than happy to listen to anything you have to say."

Tidus looked away from Firion. He didn't want to go back to Spira just to die, but his friends wanted to go home. He couldn't let them down.

"It's nothing. I accepted it a while ago."

Firion stared at Tidus, frowning. Tidus stared back at him, smiling. Firion closed his eyes and sighed.

"Fine." His arms dropped and Tidus left. Firion watched him as he walked away, a hint of sadness in his brown eyes. He pulled his ponytail in front of him, playing with his hair. All he wanted was for Tidus to talk to him... Was it really so bad to want to help a friend? He didn't think so.

While Firion was, unsurprisingly, thinking about Tidus too much, two of Harmony's more upbeat warriors were being over-dramatic. Squall stared down at the two clinging to him. Bartz and Zidane were fake-crying on his abdomen, and he wasn't sure he liked that.

"Will you two knock it off?" he asked. They looked up at him, identical pouts on their faces.

"But I'm going to miss you when we leave," they both said. Squall looked down the hall before laying a hand on each of their heads.

"I guess I'll miss you guys too. Now get off me."

Squall gently shoved the two, who fell back into a sitting position on the floor. He left them there, not really caring what they did next so long as it didn't involve him.

-Meanwhile-

When he had first arrived at Discord headquarters, Vaan had felt nervous. He wandered to the living room, where he saw Mateus. Not wasting another second, Vaan threw himself into the Emperor's lap. Nuzzling his throat, Vaan made himself comfortable.

"It's good to see you too, Vaan," Mateus murmured into the thief's hair.

"I decided. I will miss you." Vaan kissed the side of Mateus's throat. Mateus chuckled.

"I'll miss you too, thief of my heart." Mateus shifted Vaan so they were looking into each other's eyes. He gave him a slight smile and planted his lips firmly on the younger's.

Gilgamesh sighed, looking at the pair in the recliner. The fact that he hadn't been able to win back Bartz was still bothering him. He had tried everything he could think of to get him back. With any luck, he'd have better chances in their original world.

Jecht stretched and started getting up off the couch. As quickly as he had gotten up, he found himself sitting back down. The shock faded off after a few moments and he grinned. Bartz was clinging to him, just like last night. The mimic gazed into Jecht's eyes and for a moment Jecht wondered if what they really had with each other was nothing more than a fervent lust for the other. Lips collided with his own in a burning kiss as Bartz pressed his body against him. Fingers ran through his dark hair. He moved, pressing Bartz into the couch beneath him. The other occupants in the room left when Bartz started vocalizing his pleasure and clothes started landing on the floor.

-In the forest somewhere-

"I can't believe everything we've gone through," Cecil was saying. He watched the scenery go by as they continued walking.

Laguna was nodding.

"We have been through quite a lot, haven't we?" he said. "What with all the wars we must have been in, our own stories on top of all those, not finding the crystals Cosmos gave to us because she made it too hard to find the things... Oh, and dealing with everyone else's issues. I mean, look at us. We're a group of people with serious problems. For the most part."

"What are you talking about?" Cecil asked. "We aren't a group of people with problems. Where would you even get an idea like that?"

Laguna stared at him, one eyebrow raised.

"Maybe from everyone having problems? I could list them for you, if you want." Laguna smiled, and the paladin was pretty sure he didn't want Laguna to tell him what he thought of the other warriors.

"Well, we know that Discord's warriors have always had some serious problems. It is full of mostly crazy people, after all," Lightning said. She was walking over to the two. She stopped with a hand on her hip. "If we had problems, Cosmos wouldn't have chosen us to be her warriors."

"She was confused and didn't read us properly, maybe."

"She's a goddess, Laguna," Cecil said. "They don't make mistakes like that."

Laguna shrugged. Cecil looked between him and Lightning. He just knew this wasn't going to be good.

-A few hours later-

The Warrior of Light stood on a balcony, looking out over the land. It truly had developed to resemble a planet people would live on. But, it was still where the gods had waged a war that lasted centuries. That alone must've taken a toll on the planet. The Warrior of Light shook his head in pity and went back into headquarters. Cosmos had given them a chance to return home. They had all gotten their crystals, and now they were just making things harder for themselves. He went to the kitchen, where he found Firion baking. The table was covered in all sorts of different batters, many of which the warrior recognized as things Firion had never made before.

"What are you doing?" he asked the other warrior.

Firion turned, tearstreaks visible on his face. The Warrior of Light looked at him in concern.

"Cooking."

"Why are you...? This is somehow linked to Tidus, isn't it?"

Firion's expression was one of confusion.

"You make me sound like some kind of overly dramatic idiot who gets all bent out of shape because someone I care about won't tell me about anything worrying them."

The Warrior of Light stared at him with a deadpan expression on his face.

"Well, I'm not one. I was just hit with the sudden urge to cook." They stood there, in relative silence. "Okay, so it's a lot of sweets. That doesn't mean anything." Firion went over and sat at the table. The Warrior of Light put a hand on his back. "Recently, Tidus has been distancing himself from me. I don't know what I did wrong." The warrior rubbed the weaponmaster's back. "And whenever I try to talk to help him, he won't tell me what's wrong."

"I'm sure Tidus is fine," The Warrior of Light said. "If he won't tell you about it, it can't be that bad."

Firion looked at the Warrior of Light. The other man probably knew what he was talking about- or, at least, Firion had always thought he knew what he was talking about. He sighed.

"You're probably right. If Tidus doesn't think it's that big of a deal, why should I worry about it?"

Firion stood. He was planning on leaving the room, but realized how much stuff he had mixed together.

"I'm going to be in here a while."

The Warrior of Light sat and watched Firion.

-Two days later, Mysterious Temple-

All the warriors, harmony and discord alike, were gathered at the temple. Each had their crystals in hand. They had all said what needed to be said, and told themselves they wouldn't regret leaving the friends they had made in this world. Everyone stepped onto their spot of the circle in the center of the floor. The crystals floated up out of their hands. A glow lit up the floor and soon filled the room. Wind whipped around them and the crystals vanished. Thinking they were really leaving, the warriors took one last look around. All at once, everything died down.

They were still in the temple.

"What the hell?" an irate Lightning asked.

Confusion was written across most of the warrior's faces. A few were happy- too happy. Before anyone could say anything to those unusual individuals, a moogle appeared. It raised its arm and declared in a commanding voice;

"We will not let you leave, kupo."


End file.
